serafaery: (darkfaery)
“A human being is part of a whole, called by us the ‘Universe’ —a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts, and feelings, as something separated from the rest—a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”
-A. Einstein
serafaery: (darkfaery)
Groot and Maleficent reminded me to look for Varmints, again.

This is for me the most evocative film regarding what it feels like to be in this world, with this heart.
serafaery: (darkfaery)
Because of sexy slurp.

And for pouts and Tilda's fragile, perfectly vulnerable dancing.

serafaery: (darkfaery)
"How can you have lived for so long and still not get it? This self obsession is a waste of living. It could be spent on surviving things. Appreciating nature. Nurturing kindness and friendship. And dancing."

Found a new song for my mix.
serafaery: (satyr)

Just a pretty tango song.
serafaery: (satyr)
There's a "confess your unpopular opinions" hashtag on twitter.

I'm a childless-by-choice, socialist, pacifist, atheist/pagan, vegan-leaning philosopher. Pretty much all of my opinions are unpopular.
serafaery: (satyr)
TV is weird. So many mousy but tenatious professionally successful girls making watered down hiphop gestures in commercials.

I'm gunna clean the kitchen and finish laundry and bake cookies toooooooooo.

serafaery: (satyr)
Was feeling all perky after werk on 6 hrs of sleep and thought maybe I'd go to Marq's happy hour thing and then tango. But instead I took a nap, chatted with the boi (he got an awesome new job with United Way, so jelly), made popcorn with coconut oil and nooch and drank too much beer and lazed on the couch with the kitty. I have clearly made the superior choice.

Watched the "oh look I have a boyfriend" episode and now one I've never seen. yaaaaay :D
serafaery: (satyr)
"But a pawn in an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again, sparkling and broken. But I didn't really mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you wanted and then losing it to know what true freedom is...."

"There's no use in talking to people who have a home. They have no idea what it's like to seek safety in other people. For home to be wherever you lie your head."

serafaery: (satyr)
"You've suffered enough at war with yourself
It's time that you won.

Take this sinking boat, and point it home
We've still got time."


serafaery: (satyr)
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” — Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

(Always worth re-stating. So hard to find solace in those who haven't been through these depths, like chronic pain, or losing parents to cancer or addiction. There is nothing wrong with me, I don't need to be "fixed" for feeling pain or sadness - I need understanding and acceptance. To look suffering in eye, with no ability to change it, and not turn away, but keep love in your heart for me, despite the discomfort. To recognize and appreciate the strength it takes, sometimes, just to breathe. I don't look down on those who haven't been through these special layers of hell, but if you can't even hold my gaze, without telling me all the ways I need to change my perspective or sweep whatever's wrong under the rug with "positivity! gratitude! bootstrapping! look on the bright side!" then I can't trust you with my heart. Facing pain and being still within the suffering, accepting difficulty for what it is and honoring it, allowing tears to fall without judgement or disgust, without desperation to candy-coat it, is basic mature adult behavior.)
serafaery: (baltar sparkle)
"Now before this goes any further you should know that all forms of physical contact up to and including coitus are off the table." -Amy Farrah Fowler.

I think I should open with this on every date.

Sheldon meets Amy

(Big Bang Theory is a relatively stupid show with a really disturbing strain of sexist genderfail [as dear [ profile] woolly_socks recently pointed out] but it has some very clever, fun dialogue, and Jim Parsons and Miyam Bialik are delightful to watch.)
serafaery: (satyr)

This is so helpful to me. I've watched it three times and want to start practicing lie spotting. Maybe in bars? Definitely in the office.

"The power of a lie emerges when someone agrees to be lied to."

"If you don't want to be deceived, you have to know: what is it that you're hungry for?"

"We all kinda wish we were better husbands, better wives, smarter, more powerful...."

Lying tries to bridge that gap between what we wish we were and what we're really like. "And boy are we willing to fill in those gaps with lies."

They will prey on what you're hungry for. They will sniff it out, and use it against you. To be aware of what you're hungry for is the first and best defense.

I was hungry for a committed relationship. I wanted to believe that I was special, that I was loved, that I was worthy of commitment and fidelity, that I was beautiful and lovable.

It is laughable to me now that I ever believed that he was my "boyfriend." That I ever genuinely believed that that was what was going on. I miss the open, loving, non-judgmental heart, before I was so thoroughly betrayed. The generosity of always offering the benefit of the doubt. The trust and belief in the goodness and honesty of others. But I don't miss the hapless gullibility.
serafaery: (satyr)
I feel profoundly misunderstood by most people most of the time. This doesn't mean I don't love you, effusively, pervasively, deeply and genuinely and authentically. <3
serafaery: (satyr)
I think maybe it's time for me to read Lierre Keith's book, The Vegetarian Myth.

She's all about our fast-degrading and depleting topsoil due to heavy agriculture, from too much grain production and "mono-cultures" that destroy biodiversity.

"I want a full accounting, an accounting that goes way beyond what’s dead on your plate. I’m asking about everything that died in the process, everything that was killed to get that food onto your plate. That’s the more radical question, and it’s the only question that will produce the truth. How many rivers were dammed and drained, how many prairies plowed and forests pulled down, how much topsoil turned to dust and blown into ghosts? I want to know about all the species—not just the individuals, but the entire species—the chinook, the bison, the grasshopper sparrows, the grey wolves. And I want more than just the number of dead and gone. I want them back."

As a vegan-leaning localvore, this appeals to me greatly. Getting away from Big Ag in total, not just industrial factory animal farming (which she condemns, too).

Since I was exposed to her "blood and soil" idea about a year ago, it has haunted me. That everything in life is tied to death. I watch our shiny glitzy TV commercials and think about how desperately we want to divorce ourselves from death, and from our innate nature as hunters, as killers. We want to be sweet and gentle and innocent. But within food there is death. All food, not just meat. It needs to be there, ugly and decaying, in the soil, in order for nutrients to develop and provide for life.

We as a culture don't want to face this. We are so squeamish. As industrial, agricultural civilizations, we don't want any part in the natural cycle, we want to pretend we'll never die. Shun the elderly, ignore the sick and the poor.

I want to be a gentle creature, but I want to be authentic, too.
serafaery: (satyr)
I am going to do my best to be gentle with myself in observing a toxic feeling I've had over the past couple of days. I want to get rid of it but I have to face it and process it first, I think.

I am concerned about the way that a few ill-thought messages from some well-meaning but thoughtless guys can suddenly and completely turn my stomach at the idea of any male romantic attention whatsoever. It isn't fair to men who are not like that. But I can't help it. Trying to be gentle with myself and let this process, instead of trying to berate it away because it is irrational. These wounds run deep.



serafaery: (Default)

June 2017



RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 21st, 2017 12:37 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios