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harsh winter storminess.
oh man it's a mess out there.
I went and delivered a cat litter box to my step-dad before the roads got too bad, I'm just super mad at myself because I thought a smaller size would be helpful but Little Kid, despite her name, is not that little and doesn't fit in it at all. So I had to kinda rig a cardboard box which wasn't much bigger, but I hope it might help. I just feel bad going to all that trouble if it doesn't work, I hope she uses it, sigh. I showed it to her anyway, fingers crossed.
It was super sketch getting back, I got stuck in one small snow-drift on a side street but otherwise things were fine, aside from people just randomly running red lights, because the weather is bad?? Traffic rules no longer matter? That was scary. So, as always, avoiding other drivers was the hardest part of navigating.
It's thicker now so my Fit would definitely not make it anywhere at this point. Tyler is halfway here, on his skis, he just texted.
I'm a little bit jealous. I am just soooooooooooooooooo sad, my mood tanked, I'm not sure if it's PMS or still recovering from illness or what but I feel awful awful mood-wise. You'd think I'd be happy with a kitten and power still on, so much lovely food and warmth, a loving caring husband, but I am just bereft and I HATE MYSELF, the self loathing is soooo intense right now. ugh. It sucks. I don't know what to do but just sit with it. Because I'm still sober! For 8 more days at least, lol.
Is the last week harder than the first? We shall see.
Josh and I joked that maybe I could drink alcohol again but only if I'm in another country. So, beer in Germany, tequila in Mexico, etc. Wine in France but I hate wine so I'd just be sober there which is fine, ha. Well, I might sneak a little rosé.
I think I just need to bake and eat chocolate and distract myself from the shitty mood. Some of it is climate change grief. I've lived here all my life and while there are severe weather patterns that come through - we used to get ice storms in March regularly - it was never with this sort of dip in temp and hard winds. Josh seems to think it's the same but it feels different to me, especially after getting almost no days below freezing before this at all this season. I don't know, maybe I am just catastrophizing because I feel terrible and that's just where this stupid brain goes.
Maybe I'm stressed because I'm scared. If we lose power we are going to be VERY uncomfortable very quickly.
Maybe I just need a hot shower and some more baking therapy. and kitten snuggles. Deep breath.
I went and delivered a cat litter box to my step-dad before the roads got too bad, I'm just super mad at myself because I thought a smaller size would be helpful but Little Kid, despite her name, is not that little and doesn't fit in it at all. So I had to kinda rig a cardboard box which wasn't much bigger, but I hope it might help. I just feel bad going to all that trouble if it doesn't work, I hope she uses it, sigh. I showed it to her anyway, fingers crossed.
It was super sketch getting back, I got stuck in one small snow-drift on a side street but otherwise things were fine, aside from people just randomly running red lights, because the weather is bad?? Traffic rules no longer matter? That was scary. So, as always, avoiding other drivers was the hardest part of navigating.
It's thicker now so my Fit would definitely not make it anywhere at this point. Tyler is halfway here, on his skis, he just texted.
I'm a little bit jealous. I am just soooooooooooooooooo sad, my mood tanked, I'm not sure if it's PMS or still recovering from illness or what but I feel awful awful mood-wise. You'd think I'd be happy with a kitten and power still on, so much lovely food and warmth, a loving caring husband, but I am just bereft and I HATE MYSELF, the self loathing is soooo intense right now. ugh. It sucks. I don't know what to do but just sit with it. Because I'm still sober! For 8 more days at least, lol.
Is the last week harder than the first? We shall see.
Josh and I joked that maybe I could drink alcohol again but only if I'm in another country. So, beer in Germany, tequila in Mexico, etc. Wine in France but I hate wine so I'd just be sober there which is fine, ha. Well, I might sneak a little rosé.
I think I just need to bake and eat chocolate and distract myself from the shitty mood. Some of it is climate change grief. I've lived here all my life and while there are severe weather patterns that come through - we used to get ice storms in March regularly - it was never with this sort of dip in temp and hard winds. Josh seems to think it's the same but it feels different to me, especially after getting almost no days below freezing before this at all this season. I don't know, maybe I am just catastrophizing because I feel terrible and that's just where this stupid brain goes.
Maybe I'm stressed because I'm scared. If we lose power we are going to be VERY uncomfortable very quickly.
Maybe I just need a hot shower and some more baking therapy. and kitten snuggles. Deep breath.