Kale with local sweet onion, garlic, dulce, purple and fingerling potatoes. Quinoa. Corn on the cob. This is a typical dinner for me. I am amazed at the wonderfulness of food.

I'm amazed at the wonderfulness of everything, today. Helpful physical therapy. My friends. My sweet cute healthy playful cat. A perfect latte. Savory treats. Melty soaky warm water happiness. Sunflowers bursting. Purple hair. Wings wings wings.

I want to glue my ears on now! But no. Not until Friday. Or my hair will turn them purple. (I sleep in them over the weekend at Faerieworlds. Spirit gum and liquid latex hold up surprisingly well, even through sleeping and showering.)

I'm oddly not the slightest bit stressed even though I'm very behind in what I wanted to get done by now. No point in stressing. I'm so happy just to go. And I'm happy to prepare calmly and slowly, enjoying each moment of the process, and the moments between.

Faerieworlds! Squeep!

Got crafty area set up for craft cramming the last few days before Faerieworlds. Did dishes, laundry, changed bedding. Took apart Xmas, wreath from frame and into compost bin. Mushroom kit started. (Faeries make mushrooms grow.) Watched US Men's figure skating nationals, and the last of Dollhouse. (Sad it's over.) Had yummy breakfast with Preston (dragged him with me) at Bumblekiss this morning. Tidied the basement some more, lots more stuff into donate/recycle piles.

I've yet to get groceries, clean the floors, make a Goodwill donation run, or actually start on wings.

Thankfully, tomorrow is a holiday for me. I will get some decorations for mask-making and get coffee and play catch-up. It'll be good.

...

Willow is playing on a plastic sack and being a silly howling girl. She doesn't know I have tomorrow off and thinks I'm very late to bed.

I brushed her lots and trimmed a claw that was getting caught on things.

Didn't give her tuna water with medicine today - kind of curious to see how dependent on it she is for pooping. I'd almost rather give her more fluids and get her more hydrated than keep giving her laxatives, but it's a very tiny amount of medicine with no bad side effects and it works really well, and she absorbs fluid more slowly than she used to so I'd hate to overload her on too much. It's such a tricky guessing/gauging game, taking care of a kidney-failure kitty. But totally worth it.

I should sleep now, anyway. Big day tomorrow. Making myself into a new version of faery. And the wind is gloriously gusty and beautiful-sounding against the windows, tonight.

I feel very safe, in this house.

Today I did basically nothing. I needed to rest. Recover from days of not taking perfect care of myself. I'm so fragile. One or two slips - not enough sleep, not the right amount or type of food - and I'm bedridden with migraines or otherwise ill.

I can't quite tell if today was wonderful or horrible.

Everything feels empty and meaningless.

Cuddles with kitty now. Her needs are more important than my own.

My head is too busy again with things to do this weekend. List tiem yay!

I want to buy a memory book or something. I'm trying to keep track of the times I'm totally loopy and forgetful vs. the times that I'm able to remember everything perfectly while doing 15 things at once. The only common factor that stands out is alcohol. But there are times I'm perfectly sober and too easily distractable, too. Stress is a factor, and trying to do too much at once. I don't want to be frantic and rushing and fumbling and dropping things and forgetting things like my mom has been all her life. I want to figure this out.

Anyway.

In no order whatsoever, things I need to do:

* put purple in hair, let sit, rinse
* take apart MLP and dye its hair
* go to the store and get model paint, brushes, and another color of doll hair or tinsel or something to make her hair prettier than just solid purplish
* find wires and gather supplies for pony modification
* breakfast
* laundry
* coffee
* grocery shopping
* clean litter pan
* freshen kitty water
* feed kitty tuna w/ medicine
* clean room
* find that one health care receipt/bill thing
* order xmas present online for friend
* order costume pieces for Faerieworlds online
* clean shower
* rake leaves
* call Susan about Thanksgiving (what to bring?)
* put together new flash drive of music for Backspace (they need Gui Boratto and Big Pink)
* switch cell phones
* modify pony!

(I know I said I wouldn't take on any extra art or anything until I had my hip figured out and was skating regularly, but, but, Pownies! Hehe.)

Trying to un-scatterfy my brain a little. Lists help.

* coffee
* breakfast
* boil eggs for egg salad for lunches this week?
* finish laundry
* gym? (this just does not sound at all appealing)
* Whigs show tonight
* keep an eye on Willow, do another injection if necessary
* deposit checks
* look for a my little pony?
* write card
* call Molly J
* stretch hip
* cleaning
* rake leaves
* finish Blue Planet (during breakfast)

It's actually sort of nice out again. Cold and overcast, but not pouring down rain.

It's officially time for The Big Coat, though. Lows near 40 and highs near 50 call for this. I get chilled so easily.

Hip is sort of numb from stretching. How does that werk? Gotta keep trying.

On the docket for today:

* weekly phone call to step-mom
* trim Willow's claws
* coffee
* laundry (some) (lots)
* change bedding
* clean/vacuum room
* give Willow new tuna water with medicine
* give Willow her injection (Thanks, Myrrh!)
* hip exercises/stretches
* put up some Halloween decorations (lots more to do)
* repurplize hair
* make tuna mac and lunches for this week
* upload pics and videos from camera
* organic chicken noodle soup made by Joshua, beers and local apples from my visit to Apple Fest, kitty loves

Things accomplished today:

* slept in late with snuggly kitty (she just nuzzled my arm for pettings, aw)
* called my step-mom
* had coffee w/ Chris
* grocery shopping, got trail mix for jury duty on Tuesday
* closed storm windows (thanks for the help, Pher!)

Already doing better than I thought I would!

Things I'd still like to get done today, but will probably only complete a few of:

* run errands w/ Joshua
* dishes
* laundry
* clean room, put away face paints
* finish headdress and Myrrh's Day of the Dead corsage (here's me in the headdress as-is):


* clean up crafty mess on diningroom table
* clean up/organize crafty stuff in the basement
* sweep/mop kitchen and bathroom floors, vacuum the rest
* steal Pride & Prejudice from mom's house to read on jury duty day
* take pictures of giant grey striped garden spider in her web
* get school notebook and prep bag for Tuesday (I have my first drawing class after jury duty)
* cook fresh wild line caught halibut fillet and saute spinach for dinner
* make lunches for work this week
* give Willow her medicine
* put stretchy clothing in work bag for physical therapy appt. on Monday
* put up Halloween decorations

I'm pretty content with my life right now. There will always be more that I want, but I can see what I have and appreciate it. It's pretty good. I like the house, that it has a fireplace, and a Willowkitty. I like my friends, I like my social activities. Exposure to music and my friends' creative endeavors, especially. I can buy myself healthy food, and I have time and a kitchen and implements with which to prepare it. Have a shiny car. Can drink Ristretto drip coffee at home. Mmm, delicious.

I am timidly beginning to dream of one day rolling my student loans into a home loan. A modest little house with a fireplace and a garden, where I can have a dog and a cat and two chickens.

So I don't have any savings, my parents barely speak to me and I fear being completely consumed by their debt as soon as one of them falls ill, I'm still not skating, I can't afford vacations, I don't read enough, I have ratty old furniture and clothes and bedding and towels and can't afford to replace them. Those things do not impede my contentedness.

Sun's out again. Today cleaning will commence in earnest, along with the roasting of chicken and making of stock afterward. More cider, more fire, might go to Home Depot to buy a splitting maul - Chris thinks I'm going to break my leg with Skot's cheap bent dull little ax. We'll see. About the maul. Not the leg-breaking. I don't want to see about that, heh. Anyway. Breakfast first. Then cleaning. My room, then the bathroom, kitchen last. I did all the dishes last night after making cookies. Even though it was after midnight. Feels pretty good to wake up to a clean kitchen. I have a fancy breakfast planned for myself. Wish I had someone to share it with. Hmmm.