Willow, again.

Just a note that Willow is doing beautifully, today. Her butt issues have calmed down, and she's relaxed, playful, full of purrs and gentle pawings and head-butts for both Preston and I. She was eating well until I took food away from her to fast for tomorrow's exam and biopsy.

All this after seeing a new vet and getting poked at and then coming home and getting an injection. She forgave me and bounced back to her perky self immediately.

I absolutely HATE to put her through the exams and biopsy tomorrow. I think it will be the scariest thing that will happen to her, ever. Surgery will be less scary, if that happens, and chemo drugs will be more comfortable, if we end up needing to do a round. (They go much lighter on cats than in humans, it was explained to me today, as the goal is not to cure the cancer, but rather to minimize damage while extending quality of life and overall comfort level. Remission usually occurs in ~2 years. Willow would be nearly 18 in ~2 years - I seriously don't think she'd be around to go into remission.) Tomorrow will be the worst part, and it really won't be that bad. 20 minutes of belly rubbing and a small needle the same size used when her blood is drawn for blood work, which she doesn't even flinch at or appear to feel. The worst part will probably be being in the kennel before and after treatment.

I wish they could just do the surgery and examine the material then, since we know the mass needs to come out. I'm not sure why this isn't possible, except that perhaps the surgeon needs a really good road map to guide him/her before going in. I will share my concerns at the clinic tomorrow and see what they have to say. Those people love animals, too, and are vigilant about putting them through unnecessary pain, and I don't think they'd suggest doing something scary like this if it weren't necessary to her long term well being.

I do think about these things. I am not so focused on keeping her alive that I would fail to consider her comfort level or quality of life. Her quality of life is always and ever my very first consideration. I know tomorrow will be awful for her, but dying in 2 weeks would be worse for *her*, in my opinion, if she has a chance to live for several more months or even a year or longer, depending on how well her kidneys tolerate the treatments. I think, if she could understand the options, she would prefer to have that chance.

Maybe I'm wrong to think this. Maybe she really wouldn't care if I just put her down in a week or two, as long as she didn't have to go back to the scary vet place.

But I kinda doubt it.

Willow, again.

Just a note that Willow is doing beautifully, today. Her butt issues have calmed down, and she's relaxed, playful, full of purrs and gentle pawings and head-butts for both Preston and I. She was eating well until I took food away from her to fast for tomorrow's exam and biopsy.

All this after seeing a new vet and getting poked at and then coming home and getting an injection. She forgave me and bounced back to her perky self immediately.

I absolutely HATE to put her through the exams and biopsy tomorrow. I think it will be the scariest thing that will happen to her, ever. Surgery will be less scary, if that happens, and chemo drugs will be more comfortable, if we end up needing to do a round. (They go much lighter on cats than in humans, it was explained to me today, as the goal is not to cure the cancer, but rather to minimize damage while extending quality of life and overall comfort level. Remission usually occurs in ~2 years. Willow would be nearly 18 in ~2 years - I seriously don't think she'd be around to go into remission.) Tomorrow will be the worst part, and it really won't be that bad. 20 minutes of belly rubbing and a small needle the same size used when her blood is drawn for blood work, which she doesn't even flinch at or appear to feel. The worst part will probably be being in the kennel before and after treatment.

I wish they could just do the surgery and examine the material then, since we know the mass needs to come out. I'm not sure why this isn't possible, except that perhaps the surgeon needs a really good road map to guide him/her before going in. I will share my concerns at the clinic tomorrow and see what they have to say. Those people love animals, too, and are vigilant about putting them through unnecessary pain, and I don't think they'd suggest doing something scary like this if it weren't necessary to her long term well being.

I do think about these things. I am not so focused on keeping her alive that I would fail to consider her comfort level or quality of life. Her quality of life is always and ever my very first consideration. I know tomorrow will be awful for her, but dying in 2 weeks would be worse for *her*, in my opinion, if she has a chance to live for several more months or even a year or longer, depending on how well her kidneys tolerate the treatments. I think, if she could understand the options, she would prefer to have that chance.

Maybe I'm wrong to think this. Maybe she really wouldn't care if I just put her down in a week or two, as long as she didn't have to go back to the scary vet place.

But I kinda doubt it.