serafaery

I am not a fan of The Vagina Monologues, but I am a fan of this story of this woman's work and what her message has inspired women around the world to do. This is a wonderful TED talk.

"When we give, in the world, what we want the most, we heal the broken part inside each of us."

"Happiness exists in action, it exists in telling the truth and saying what your truth is, and it exists in giving away what you want the most."

-Eve Ensler

My darling beautiful glittering fire faery. Eva. Ay-vah. Beautifulbeautiful. Her life is art. Muse. Inspiration. Sparkles. So much love.

I have never met her. But she was with me on livejournal through the breakup with Preston and the discovery of a new kind of love with Myrrh, which she celebrated with me. She has been following my dreams and flitterings with an earnest interest and passion I've not yet come across in another person. She is truly fae, and so much more than that as well. I was, I am, intimidated by her, and a little ashamed of myself for that - for holding back a little, out of fear of her amazingness.

I love this girl. How can you not love this girl? She's startlingly beautiful in every way.

She creates and radiates the love of a thousand from her one fiery heart.



She is nearing the end of her life. But her love will burn on, through all of us, who will love her, always.

I don't want her to go.

Labyrinth was OK on the big screen. I've seen it so many times that I have memorized every detail, so it wasn't that different to me. I'm thrilled with the new print, though. It's great.

I don't enjoy seeing that movie with people, especially in public, because they snicker so much at the cheesy effects or weird outfits. (Tangent - One of my worst birthdays, at age 13: only two girls showed up, and one of them chose to make fun of the movie the entire way through, as well as make fun of me the entire night. She was relentless - teased me for not shaving yet, for zits, anything that can hurt an overly sheltered, coddled, sensitive, home-schooled [ugh] 13-year-old's feelings. At that age, to be made to feel as if you are the lowest of the low, by your only two friends, on your birthday? Was pretty much the worst thing ever. Serious psychological scars, heh. The 16th birthday might have been worse. No, no. 13 takes the cake. But whatever.) pHunk also snickers. He doesn't see any character motivation and thinks it's completely silly. But I am completely mesmerized by the magic of it. I am drawn to Bowie's charisma, and the aesthetic. It melts me. I commune with this film as if in worship. I guess it's as close to religion as I get.

...

Anxiety = spiking. I'm certain stress w/ co-workers is why I got sick, but not certain what to do about it. Almost everyone I liked is gone, no one has my back, and things are going downhill fast. But it's still better than anything else I can imagine, right now. I did get my first bonus ever today, I guess because we met our budget goals for the year or something? A whole $114 in my account I wasn't expecting. That's pretty rockin'.

I was severely inspired by the Johnny Cupcakes story pHunk forwarded me last night. One day, I want to have fun making people happy, too. In an environmentally friendly, peaceful, beautiful way.

For now, I am trying to find ways to foster energy and creativity in the cracks and crevaces of my life, where free time lies waiting to be mined. Little jewels of potential energy, creativity, and inner light. I want to dance, I want to move, I want to craft, draw, garden, write, read, decorate, transcend myself, grow. I want to effectively protest the war, effectively fight for animal rights and dignity for the elderly, effectively just learn how to enjoy the fleeting shooting star of an existence I've been gifted. There's so, so much I want to do. Not enough hours in the day, not enough years in this life, not enough energy in my body. If only I can unlock some of the power I have clamped down inside. My spirit feels like a bunny pinned under a sieve, too frightened even to tremble - too fatigued by fear and struggle to move. Playing dead until it's safe. Is it safe?

...

Haven't really had a drink since getting sick - nearly a week! o_0 Happy Hour at the Bonfire may be in order. If only to gaze at Jarrod's ass for a couple hours. "Do you have anything to get this non-tequila-taste out of my mouth?"