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Jul. 27th, 2020 09:07 amSome helpful notes from a little self-help video I watched recently - I shy away from a lot of self-help stuff, toxic positivity can be a thing - but these points stood out for me and my needs in particular:
* if you want to increase your success rate, increase your failure rate (the more times you fail, the more you learn and have more chances for success) Be grateful for each failure or rejection, it shows you are making a real effort.
* stop trying to avoid criticism - you will always have people who want to say negative things about what you're doing. This is actually a good thing - it means that you're doing something they feel is worthy of their time to critique; it means you're putting yourself out there
* Remember: people only usually criticize others who are doing something greater or better than they are. (Perhaps they want to take you down a notch to make themselves feel better, consciously or not.)
Think about people you actually look up to, and see if you feel like they would criticize you for what you are doing. If someone who is actually more skilled at you than the thing you are doing sees your efforts, they are much more likely to be encouraging and supportive. (Weak people criticize.)
This relates to Brene Brown's explanation of not taking advice from people who are not in the ring. Spectators don't get to have a say in your actions, your battle, your efforts, your fight. People who are in it with you, or have fought their own battles, are the ones who matter.
* if you want to increase your success rate, increase your failure rate (the more times you fail, the more you learn and have more chances for success) Be grateful for each failure or rejection, it shows you are making a real effort.
* stop trying to avoid criticism - you will always have people who want to say negative things about what you're doing. This is actually a good thing - it means that you're doing something they feel is worthy of their time to critique; it means you're putting yourself out there
* Remember: people only usually criticize others who are doing something greater or better than they are. (Perhaps they want to take you down a notch to make themselves feel better, consciously or not.)
Think about people you actually look up to, and see if you feel like they would criticize you for what you are doing. If someone who is actually more skilled at you than the thing you are doing sees your efforts, they are much more likely to be encouraging and supportive. (Weak people criticize.)
This relates to Brene Brown's explanation of not taking advice from people who are not in the ring. Spectators don't get to have a say in your actions, your battle, your efforts, your fight. People who are in it with you, or have fought their own battles, are the ones who matter.
