balsamroot forever

endless endless balsamroot with Tyler yesterday on Dog Mountain. I am so lucky to have this friend omg.











Ten years on and I'm still wildly in love with this human. He makes my life so much better in so many ways, I will never be able to thank him enough for everything he's done for me. Somehow he puts up with all of my quirks and trauma-related behaviors that so painfully rub him the wrong way, and he follows me up 3000' mountain climbs when I ask. He's the reason I found Josh (they had been going to blues together for dancing when we met - I actually met Tyler first. Through Andrea, who I met through my first love, John, so really I can trace all of this good fortune in my life back to him - I credit Andrea the most, though, who stuck by my when John and I split).

I'm so lucky.

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to dance tired or not at all?

been a very very weird day.

we were woken up at 2am by a truck exploding outside. not an exaggeration. unfortunately Josh's Rav4 was parked directly in front of said truck, and the back of his car is melted in several places and the tail lights are all fried, his backup camera is gone, the license plate is brown instead of white/blue/green.

it was pretty awful.

the police came to talk to him about it. the truck was stolen and a gas can was in the front, obviously left with something flammable, somehow.

i will save the gruesome details but no humans appear to have been harmed in the explosion, it could have been a lot worse.

we have appts to look at 3 apartment complexes in Vancouver, Washington this weekend. Josh is canceling his plans since he can't drive his car until he gets the tail lights replaced.

insurance should cover the repairs but he'll have to pay his deductible which is pretty high. who would ever think something like this would happen. sux.

we're a bit shaken. it is good motivation to get out of here, though. i imagine it's not great to leave in a rush, but we need something to shake us out of this rut. we've been here four years and each year has gotten progressively worse. I am so tired of looking at my decaying city, it's nightmarish. I want out even if it means I have to get used to long daily commutes in order to get to the things I love (circus, dancing, work, walks with cynthia, friends, family, etc). we'll figure it out. other people manage. i've had to deal with commutes before. audiobooks and podcasts.

if we can find somewhere with nearby greenspace at least we can run nearby, that would be very helpful. hopefully a cute coffee shop not too far away, maybe a nice place for me to sparkle once or twice a week. that would be taxes in two states but income tax is zero in Washington state, so who cares. also there are zero hair restrictions - there is no licensing for faery hair required in Oregon (yet) but technically i can't work out of a salon here, whereas in Vancouver, I can (and I have done so in the past).

People will think I live in Canada but who cares lol.

(one day I will get my passport. and my oura ring. and my cortisol test. oof. lots to do.)

my legs are trashed from the Dog Mountain climb yesterday, it's kind of embarrassing, I should be in better shape than this. I don't know if I can dance tonight. I promised Derek I would go. But it's almost 10pm and I'm falling asleep. I did get my new harness in the mail today so that's motivating at least. I'll see what I can do to make myself rally.