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note to self: most people want to stay sick. (this includes myself definitely, in terms of certain psychological issues.) it's better to let them be than to try to "help" when they don't actually want help, no matter how much they complain.
(yes this is mostly triggered by my brother but also extended family and a lot of other folks around me.)
working through stuff and getting better is Hard. Work. Sometimes it just doesn't feel worth it, and it's more comfortable to limp along in the semi-broken state.
The Hard Work has paid off for me in leaps and bounds in the past, it's what brought me my husband and closest friends and the financial stability I never understood was even possible, given the way I was raised.
And the physical health! My biotracker is giving me crazy insights. I have elite athlete level HRV and heart rates. This is so cool to see in real measurements, it makes me feel very accomplished and rewarded for all the training I've done. And all the time and energy focused on a healthy diet.
So there is part of me that is starting to see through my own resistance and contemplating tackling the next hurdle of self-worth issues holding me down.
But I'm not quiiiiiite ready to dive in, yet.
It's funny how sometimes it takes a crisis to push us to a point of doing even harder things to create real change in ourselves. Wouldn't it be nicer if we could do it without a catastrophe to trigger it? ha.
(yes this is mostly triggered by my brother but also extended family and a lot of other folks around me.)
working through stuff and getting better is Hard. Work. Sometimes it just doesn't feel worth it, and it's more comfortable to limp along in the semi-broken state.
The Hard Work has paid off for me in leaps and bounds in the past, it's what brought me my husband and closest friends and the financial stability I never understood was even possible, given the way I was raised.
And the physical health! My biotracker is giving me crazy insights. I have elite athlete level HRV and heart rates. This is so cool to see in real measurements, it makes me feel very accomplished and rewarded for all the training I've done. And all the time and energy focused on a healthy diet.
So there is part of me that is starting to see through my own resistance and contemplating tackling the next hurdle of self-worth issues holding me down.
But I'm not quiiiiiite ready to dive in, yet.
It's funny how sometimes it takes a crisis to push us to a point of doing even harder things to create real change in ourselves. Wouldn't it be nicer if we could do it without a catastrophe to trigger it? ha.
