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dream journal
Nov. 9th, 2023 09:36 amHuberman says to write down our dreams regularly to start to build a sense of what themes repeat, to better understand our subconscious or unconscious mind.
My therapist also loves dream analysis and finds it very useful. so.
So, I had a really bad dream right before waking that I didn't want to remember, but I'll write down some basics about it in the spirit of trying to pull out general themes that recur over time.
In this dream, I don't remember exactly how it started, but at some point I was wandering some halls that were reminiscent of like, the back hallways of a theatre or small stadium, like, there's a second floor with multiple doors that lead out to a balcony, and a first floor that is similarly set up but also bigger and the hallway extends to the rest of the building. There is a theatre with seating for shows - this is built a lot like say, a mini version of the Memorial Coliseum, a place I went for shows when I was younger, most often ice shows but also concerts and maybe a sports event or two. It also is very similar to the weird back hallways of the giant non-denominational church my parents went to in the 80s that is called New Hope Community Church. It also can sometimes look a little like an airport but darker and the coloring/carpeting tends to be burgundy.
Anyway, in this instance, I think the building was flexing between being my home and being the Lloyd Center Mall.
At some point, I walked into the stadium arena type place, and people were putting on a show that looked like an ice show. I was suddenly relieved and elated to see that the rink had been rebuilt to its original full size - something I've agonized about regarding the Lloyd Center rink for years, I was raised on that rink and it was shrunk to a fraction of its size about ten years ago in a massive failure of a rebuild of that mall by outside developers from Texas who eventually defaulted and abandoned the failed mall that they ruined, and left us with this piece of my old rink that used to be my home, where I formed most of my most formative memories.
Anyway as I looked closer, people were rollerskating, not ice skating. And somehow in my brain this became my home with a giant stage where people could do rollerskating shows, I don't know why or how I would own such a thing. I had thought they were skating because the surface looked like ice and they were leaving tracings on the surface, but I guess it was some sort of ice mimicking flooring material or something I don't know.
Anyway. Something happened and suddenly the entire floor of the rink shifted, and dropped, and was slanted and pinned against the walls, and all the skaters tumbled. Then the whole thing shot up into the air like a hundred feet, and then plummeted down in a free-fall motion and crashed into water? I remember as it fell trying to decide if I wanted to shut my eyes or watch because the skaters clearly weren't going to survive this crazy malfunction, but they were tiny dots from where I was standing and I couldn't see their faces or any details at all - it's like I had suddenly zoomed way out and gotten much further away or the space had suddenly gotten massive, because right before that I could make out the wheels on their feet and could see they weren't blades.
Anyway, there was one lone survivor left floating on a white square (I had just watched a weird video of a human standing on a white foam square of some kind on top of a giant lily pad on instagram or some such so maybe that's where the white square came from) and looking for a way to escape. I frantically reached for some wide sparkly decorative christmas decoration ribbon that I thought might reach down to him (he was suddenly closer again? I could make out that this was a person in some sort of skating costume like a unicorn onesie or something), and then I darted out the door saying I needed rope, and was thinking about how most people aren't aerialists or rock climbers and can't climb up a ribbon or a rope even if they are strong enough to hang on, and I was thinking about prussic hitches (used to ascend a rock climbing rope) and how hard it is to manage things like knots when you are in shock and scared, and how I wasn't strong enough to haul someone larger than me up to a second storey balcony, and I had never done a body belay and wasn't even sure i could anchor the person well enough or safely to keep from getting pulled down myself, and I woke up.
blegh, scary weird dream.
I had nightmares all night. like usual.
My therapist also loves dream analysis and finds it very useful. so.
So, I had a really bad dream right before waking that I didn't want to remember, but I'll write down some basics about it in the spirit of trying to pull out general themes that recur over time.
In this dream, I don't remember exactly how it started, but at some point I was wandering some halls that were reminiscent of like, the back hallways of a theatre or small stadium, like, there's a second floor with multiple doors that lead out to a balcony, and a first floor that is similarly set up but also bigger and the hallway extends to the rest of the building. There is a theatre with seating for shows - this is built a lot like say, a mini version of the Memorial Coliseum, a place I went for shows when I was younger, most often ice shows but also concerts and maybe a sports event or two. It also is very similar to the weird back hallways of the giant non-denominational church my parents went to in the 80s that is called New Hope Community Church. It also can sometimes look a little like an airport but darker and the coloring/carpeting tends to be burgundy.
Anyway, in this instance, I think the building was flexing between being my home and being the Lloyd Center Mall.
At some point, I walked into the stadium arena type place, and people were putting on a show that looked like an ice show. I was suddenly relieved and elated to see that the rink had been rebuilt to its original full size - something I've agonized about regarding the Lloyd Center rink for years, I was raised on that rink and it was shrunk to a fraction of its size about ten years ago in a massive failure of a rebuild of that mall by outside developers from Texas who eventually defaulted and abandoned the failed mall that they ruined, and left us with this piece of my old rink that used to be my home, where I formed most of my most formative memories.
Anyway as I looked closer, people were rollerskating, not ice skating. And somehow in my brain this became my home with a giant stage where people could do rollerskating shows, I don't know why or how I would own such a thing. I had thought they were skating because the surface looked like ice and they were leaving tracings on the surface, but I guess it was some sort of ice mimicking flooring material or something I don't know.
Anyway. Something happened and suddenly the entire floor of the rink shifted, and dropped, and was slanted and pinned against the walls, and all the skaters tumbled. Then the whole thing shot up into the air like a hundred feet, and then plummeted down in a free-fall motion and crashed into water? I remember as it fell trying to decide if I wanted to shut my eyes or watch because the skaters clearly weren't going to survive this crazy malfunction, but they were tiny dots from where I was standing and I couldn't see their faces or any details at all - it's like I had suddenly zoomed way out and gotten much further away or the space had suddenly gotten massive, because right before that I could make out the wheels on their feet and could see they weren't blades.
Anyway, there was one lone survivor left floating on a white square (I had just watched a weird video of a human standing on a white foam square of some kind on top of a giant lily pad on instagram or some such so maybe that's where the white square came from) and looking for a way to escape. I frantically reached for some wide sparkly decorative christmas decoration ribbon that I thought might reach down to him (he was suddenly closer again? I could make out that this was a person in some sort of skating costume like a unicorn onesie or something), and then I darted out the door saying I needed rope, and was thinking about how most people aren't aerialists or rock climbers and can't climb up a ribbon or a rope even if they are strong enough to hang on, and I was thinking about prussic hitches (used to ascend a rock climbing rope) and how hard it is to manage things like knots when you are in shock and scared, and how I wasn't strong enough to haul someone larger than me up to a second storey balcony, and I had never done a body belay and wasn't even sure i could anchor the person well enough or safely to keep from getting pulled down myself, and I woke up.
blegh, scary weird dream.
I had nightmares all night. like usual.
