recalibration on eclipse day

we were really fortunate to get to see the total eclipse in 2017 here in Oregon. it was spectacular. the sky broke. the stars came out. my body was confused, groggy, and elated for the entire rest of the day and into the week.

this year i'm a little sad we didn't try harder to chase it, as joshter has never seen an eclipse inside the path of totality. which is completely different from even 99% eclipsed.

i am considering working on booking us a trip to iceland or spain for the 2026 eclipse. i think he should see it, sooner than the 2040s. and the rest of them are all in the southern hemisphere until then, pretty much.

it would be crowded and expensive but we are lucky enough to be in a place where we could even consider such an adventure. who knows what life might look like in two years, though.

in any case. a ton of things have been going wrong, and i have fallen out of my usual consistent gratitude practice. so with the invigoration of this eclipse energy, i want to try to start to pick that back up as a daily practice. it's important for me. i've been though so much pain and loss and trauma that consistent daily effort to not catastrophize is an important part of my mental health practice.

so for today, i am grateful for......

* a walk outside with josh to the coffee shop to honor the eclipse, even though we can't see any of it from here (okay maybe 10%, nothing worth getting glasses for imo).

* getting to see the 2017 solar eclipse in totality (thanks, tyler - making life amazing as usual)

* getting to play in silks in trees after the solar eclipse on that august day in 2017 (thanks again same as above, he brought them and rigged them for me in a giant oak)

* for the gluten free quiche i baked today with leftover salmon and veggies

* for the orders i'm working on boxing up and shipping out, today

* for the amazing weekend with Josh out in the eastern washington desert, where we ran a spectacular 10k trail run and performed far better than we expected to

* super yummy homemade burritos

* for finally starting the process of setting up my new laptop - it's for work so getting everything lined up and ready to use is super tedious and time consuming but I'm getting there, and i'm so glad my old one is still functioning in the meantime

* for Josh helping me figure out how best to maximize investing what little tiny bit of savings i have

* for Finley asking to spend time with me, even on nights that I have to say no - it's so nice to be asked

* for the magic of Shadowplay and all of the people there I love so much who seem to like me, too

* for still being sober, 15 months after randomly quitting alcohol with no reason and no plan

* for the feeling of eating nourishing food after being hungry for a bit longer than planned - extra tasty and satisfying

* for la croix

* for my funny sweet happy adorable affectionate smart loudly purring playful goofy kitten

* for my friends and loved ones

* for practicing non-judgement and accepting people where they are, as they are, flaws and all, and still loving them and finding them delightful, valuable, and beautiful

* for honoring what makes me sad without taking it out on other people when I get envious

* for finding blissful moments in the smallest little moments

* for spring wildflowers, and access to nature where i can see them - the trail run was covered in shooting star flowers! one of my favorite wildflowers

* for hot showers

* for josh getting a chill day because his company is based in texas and they're all out viewing the eclipse, today

* for nasa's livestream of the eclipse on youtube via various telescopes

* for chocolate

* for soft beds and warm blankets when my heater breaks