smoke is not supposed to be weather.
Oct. 18th, 2022 02:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serafaerycurrent weather forecast reads: 62°F and Smoke.
I can't even.
Sobbed all the way home from the rink.
I have six ACEs. I get too triggered too frequently. Much of my trauma is untreated (I used the AA sister program, Al-Anon, to treat myself for the family alcoholism - but the sexual, mental illness, and physical and emotional abuse trauma remains neglected).
This smoke is unbearable to witness.
I need my cat and my family and they're dead and it sucks.
I know this feeling will pass, I am so grateful for my husband and my relative safety and all of the good things in my life and my work and my friendships, I am so fortunate, I know that. I think I am PMSing too so that's part of it. This feeling will pass, the smoke will eventually give way to rain.
It's just really painful to exist in this, right now. Just trying to honor my process and grieve and release appropriately.
I can't even.
Sobbed all the way home from the rink.
I have six ACEs. I get too triggered too frequently. Much of my trauma is untreated (I used the AA sister program, Al-Anon, to treat myself for the family alcoholism - but the sexual, mental illness, and physical and emotional abuse trauma remains neglected).
This smoke is unbearable to witness.
I need my cat and my family and they're dead and it sucks.
I know this feeling will pass, I am so grateful for my husband and my relative safety and all of the good things in my life and my work and my friendships, I am so fortunate, I know that. I think I am PMSing too so that's part of it. This feeling will pass, the smoke will eventually give way to rain.
It's just really painful to exist in this, right now. Just trying to honor my process and grieve and release appropriately.
