(trying to recover from a barrage of texts from a toxic family member)

[serafaery]

sigh.

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[iamkipalan]

This is a current topic of conversation on my plate too. I moved to Austin in 2013 to be closer to my Mom. They bought property here to be closer to my Sister and her kids. My Mom passed in 2017 and I parted ways with my Step-Dad and Sister a few years later. I'm currently tossing around moving back to the Midwest to be closer to my Mom's family. There's a history of drug addiction and alcoholism. Racism and homophobia are not as bad as my Step-Dad's family, but still present. It's draining and I'm sorry to read you're dealing with the same bullshit.

[serafaery]

thanks so much for the thoughtful comment, that sounds soooooo difficult, I'm sorry for that. my family's racism and conservative values percolate under the surface and have only bubbled up in my bio-brother recently, my sister in law on the step side went so far as to do a secular christmas prayer for me one year, they are blue-leaning and good-hearted and they try. unlike my brother who has recently dove off into the deep end of bigotry. which is not going to work for my trans-leaning step-nephew, I'm guessing, but everyone will probably just nod and smile and pretend like everything is fine. which.... kinda works? lol.

the rampant drinking on all sides of my family makes all of this a bit more difficult, I never really saw how bad it was until I quit drinking this year. I was the lightest user of the bunch but even 2 drinks a night 2x per week was enough to blur my vision in this regard. (I'm also a lightweight, 2 drinks gets me pretty darn tipsy actually.)

I'm not sure how I'm going to get through the holidays tbh, I'm already nervous about it lol

[iamkipalan]

I quit going home for the holidays after I quit. I also moved a few hours away which slowly became 1,400. Times have changed and 30.5 years later 3/4 of my Mom's immediate family are sober. The memorial I attended for my cousin was alcohol-free. You have a support system under your roof, lean hard on it and create the example that pisses everyone off. At some point their perspective slowly starts to change until they decide to join you!