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serafaerytemporarily irked by a video of a girl who has been copying me at the club for a while now, gogo dancing at another venue, wearing exactly the kind of outfit I wear - thigh high socks, little fingerless gloves, triangle bra, short skirt, bare midriff, bondage belt, hair down, sparkle accessories, these are signature aspects of my wardrobe that I have been utilizing for soooooooo many years and now she's copying them all and also is copying all of my moves; the snake arms, the deep crouching knee-bends, the undulating hips, the shoulder brushes, the finger to the lips. she's not a trained dancer so it doesn't look polished but she's been copying me for a year now so it's starting to look halfway decent and I just... feel stolen from.
but also I know that it doesn't actually pay off to try to steal other people's magic, and this will come back to haunt her, and nobody can actually copy me, I am unique, and I am flattered and it is flattering to see someone pattern themselves after me so hard. I just... wish she were nicer to me? she never says hi or makes eye contact. I also know it won't last long and people who do this kind of thing never really steal my joy and never really find true happiness or contentment that way. And also it's okay to borrow and try on other people's styles to try to experiment to find your own, and I am old enough now and this has happened enough times that I know i'll get over it.
natasha did this for a while and i let her, and eventually it faded, and she left. and she still hasn't found what she's looking for. taking what i have is not the way.
it is a passing irritation and not a big deal, very small and petty and i know i should just ignore it and just not think about it at all.
but, I'm allowed to feel irked, for the moment.
my bloodsugar crashed so hard after skating i thought i was going to fall over while preparing food for myself in the kitchen after starving for way too long. i feel better now though. ate lots of protein. fed josh also. skating was fun even on sore legs with sore shoulders. some stuff i could not do - my lower back is not tolerating sit spins, my shoulder is not tolerating catch-foot spins. but everything else was fine and quite fun actually, despite the fatigue.
i think i need more chocolate.
this charmed life. can you believe we can have chocolate whenever we want?! what even is that.
magic.
pure bliss.
i am so lucky.
shadowplay anniversary thursday. 17 years. pretty sure i started when it started. ophelia and nova are making cupcakes. can't wait can't wait. i want it to be RIGHT NOW lol.
but also I know that it doesn't actually pay off to try to steal other people's magic, and this will come back to haunt her, and nobody can actually copy me, I am unique, and I am flattered and it is flattering to see someone pattern themselves after me so hard. I just... wish she were nicer to me? she never says hi or makes eye contact. I also know it won't last long and people who do this kind of thing never really steal my joy and never really find true happiness or contentment that way. And also it's okay to borrow and try on other people's styles to try to experiment to find your own, and I am old enough now and this has happened enough times that I know i'll get over it.
natasha did this for a while and i let her, and eventually it faded, and she left. and she still hasn't found what she's looking for. taking what i have is not the way.
it is a passing irritation and not a big deal, very small and petty and i know i should just ignore it and just not think about it at all.
but, I'm allowed to feel irked, for the moment.
my bloodsugar crashed so hard after skating i thought i was going to fall over while preparing food for myself in the kitchen after starving for way too long. i feel better now though. ate lots of protein. fed josh also. skating was fun even on sore legs with sore shoulders. some stuff i could not do - my lower back is not tolerating sit spins, my shoulder is not tolerating catch-foot spins. but everything else was fine and quite fun actually, despite the fatigue.
i think i need more chocolate.
this charmed life. can you believe we can have chocolate whenever we want?! what even is that.
magic.
pure bliss.
i am so lucky.
shadowplay anniversary thursday. 17 years. pretty sure i started when it started. ophelia and nova are making cupcakes. can't wait can't wait. i want it to be RIGHT NOW lol.
