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serafaerybeen in a state of grief the last three days. this happens sometimes. it's okay. it's appropriate given the losses i've experienced.
spent some tearful moments missing Maru this morning. a cat i've adored since his internet introduction some 18 years ago.
the weather is blissfully perfect and josh wants to come join me at the fairy festival for a little while. i will make myself as comfortable as possible, not too elaborate with costumes or makeup because i don't want to cry off a design and make a mess. i just want to wander around and relax, get some inspiration for future festivals when i am feeling more like myself. which i still have hope is possible. aging isn't a direct flat downward slope, there are rolling hills, and i think things will feel not so dire in the coming few years, between now and 60. i will consider reaching 60 a major accomplishment, if it happens, as my dad did not make it that far.
spent some tearful moments missing Maru this morning. a cat i've adored since his internet introduction some 18 years ago.
the weather is blissfully perfect and josh wants to come join me at the fairy festival for a little while. i will make myself as comfortable as possible, not too elaborate with costumes or makeup because i don't want to cry off a design and make a mess. i just want to wander around and relax, get some inspiration for future festivals when i am feeling more like myself. which i still have hope is possible. aging isn't a direct flat downward slope, there are rolling hills, and i think things will feel not so dire in the coming few years, between now and 60. i will consider reaching 60 a major accomplishment, if it happens, as my dad did not make it that far.
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Date: 2025-09-21 12:25 am (UTC)