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Sep. 26th, 2012 04:29 pmIt ruins what little faith I slowly have tried to build in humanity, how responses to my journal entries that contain the most pain are met with, not love or support, or anything offering any sort of comfort or healing, but instead with further attacks on my already wounded spirit, in the form of gossip, and who knows what else. :(
It is a terribly rude awakening to realize that there may still be people reading here who have long dismissed me from their lives, looking for any little snippet I might randomly leave public. Really? Really, people? Why? Whatever for? What a waste of time and energy.
Know what would be awesome would be if people who hate me would just leave me alone, and care enough about their own lives to not invest any time in further harming what has already been utterly damaged beyond repair, over here.
Kick me when I'm down, people. I hope it makes them feel real strong and tough. A real badass. Too big for their britches.
I hope it's worth it.
(Do you even bother to see any of me, here? Me as I am? Or do you just hunt for anything that has to do with yourself. Some way to validate yourself, to validate your petty hatred for me, with no consideration for the fact that I am a thinking, feeling, fully developed human being, with more pain and torment in her life than someone who does such petty drama-whoring bullshit could ever hope to understand. How very, very sad.)
I truly wish them healing. And I hope they never do truly understand what it's like to go through the kinds of hell I've been through. I would not wish this sort of pain on anyone. Ever. I hope they find a way to develop into mature, fully realized people, with warm, full, fulfilled lives that leave no room for gossip or petty hatred.
Only love.
<3
It is a terribly rude awakening to realize that there may still be people reading here who have long dismissed me from their lives, looking for any little snippet I might randomly leave public. Really? Really, people? Why? Whatever for? What a waste of time and energy.
Know what would be awesome would be if people who hate me would just leave me alone, and care enough about their own lives to not invest any time in further harming what has already been utterly damaged beyond repair, over here.
Kick me when I'm down, people. I hope it makes them feel real strong and tough. A real badass. Too big for their britches.
I hope it's worth it.
(Do you even bother to see any of me, here? Me as I am? Or do you just hunt for anything that has to do with yourself. Some way to validate yourself, to validate your petty hatred for me, with no consideration for the fact that I am a thinking, feeling, fully developed human being, with more pain and torment in her life than someone who does such petty drama-whoring bullshit could ever hope to understand. How very, very sad.)
I truly wish them healing. And I hope they never do truly understand what it's like to go through the kinds of hell I've been through. I would not wish this sort of pain on anyone. Ever. I hope they find a way to develop into mature, fully realized people, with warm, full, fulfilled lives that leave no room for gossip or petty hatred.
Only love.
<3
