Mar. 3rd, 2026

serafaery: (Default)
Just got a rush of adrenaline - I went to bed super early after a day that kind of wrecked me (or maybe I was already wrecked from the depressive episode I'm in and had a normal day, hard to tell sometimes) so crashed super early when I got home. I had left the cat door open like usual, when Josh went to bed he told me Avalanche had gone outside, this was maybe close to 11pm.

I woke up at 1am with no Avalanche, which is not normal - she sleeps with me all night, even when the cat door is open. I got up and combed the house from her, then back outside where I discovered that our back gate on the side yard was standing wide open.

Josh uses this gate to pull the trash bins out and it's trash night, so I don't know if he accidentally didn't latch it properly - he just installed a new latch on it, but one that doesn't lock - or if someone came through and opened it - occasionally we have people come looking through the bins for cans/bottles and maybe they saw the no-lock latch and helped themselves? There is a lightbulb laying in our neighbor's driveway randomly, so it looks like maybe someone was having an episode? (There is a halfway house across Hall blvd a few blocks away, apparently they wander around and sometimes aren't doing so great while in recovery.) Anyway, no sign of Avalanche.

It's a beeeaaauuuutiful night, so I came in and told Josh what happened and turned on the torch on my phone and started searching around each house around ours, first all of our bushes, then the neighbor's, then the next neighbor's, and so on.

I called the whole time. But cats in general will just stay hidden when they're scared or in unfamiliar territory, so I didn't count on her to come to me, and kept calling and looking and looking and calling.

Walked down Hall, the busy blvd one street over, calling into the blackberry bushes, listening, calling. Trying not to completely panic, trying to fight back thoughts of living without Avalanche for the rest of my life.

Turned a corner and went into the open property where the deer cross through, did not care about trespassing, was focused on finding my cat.

Found her! Waaaaay back in some bushes but I saw her little eyes and a little white cloud in the bushes and knew right away because this cute fuzzy vulnerable animal did not run from me.

She just kept doing what she was doing, sniffing and enjoying herself. She seemed a little scared but not too bad. Like, oh, mom found me, thought I heard her, I am probably not supposed to be here, I might have not figured out how to get home, but it's nice here, and mom's here now, I think I'll keep sniffing. She should have heard me easily and could have come toward my voice and slipped back through the hole in the open fence she most likely used to get where she was, and could have come to me when I first started calling, but no, she stayed and waited for me to reach her physically. I crept closer while calling and kneeling and eventually she started picking her way toward me gingerly through the wet leaves (the long grass was very dewy) and I scooped her up no problem.

There is a board missing between this property and our neighbor's, you can see our house through it, but I couldn't fit through. When I took Avi to that gap, she struggled to get out of my arms to go home as she could see it from there. I set her down for a sec and held onto her and tried to call Josh. Alas, we both have our phones on silence at night, and while Apple has a setting that will ring audibly on a second immediate call, Androids do not have this feature, so no amount of calls were getting to him.

So I had to carry Avi the long way down Hall blvd and back to our street around all the neighbor's houses.

She blessedly stayed calm in my arms this whole time, and was very curious to see everything on this street she had never seen before and took it all in eagerly. Part of me is glad she saw this, so if she ever ends up anywhere around there (hopefully this never happens again, but just in case!), she'll hopefully recognize it and be able to navigate home.

She usually never lets me carry her for any distance, so I think part of her knew this was important.

Such a good girl.

Once we were in clear view of the house she started squirming but not so much I couldn't hold on. I should have brought a leash in retrospect. But anyway, we got in the house no problem. Then I still couldn't find Josh anywhere, until he finally came back from wherever he had gone. He is a very unhappy camper. I was super angry he didn't answer his phone when I found her, super angry that he got a latch that didn't lock, super angry that maybe he accidentally left the gate open, but all of this was vastly overpowered by my relief at finding my cat. I did not express any of this anger. He also tried to call me and I realized my phone was also silenced so I was just as guilty as him for this oversight - totally understandable at 1am - so when I finally found him, I just explained what happened and where I found her and how, and that we a) need to turn on our phones when something happens in the middle of the night and b) need to get a locking latch for the gate. Josh asked why I hadn't put an air tag on Avi's collar yet, also a valid question. I have never used one and the one I was gifted is several years old, sitting unopened in a box, so have been intimidated by the process of trying to figure out how to use it, and adding it to her collar is another thing, would the extra weight bother her? Would the holder I got actually work? So I hadn't done so yet. My bad. That would have been really helpful tonight! Fortunately, I grew up with cats and know where they tend to go when they escape and don't want to come back in. Usually some nearby bush on someone's property, within a couple hundred feet. Just use a flashlight and look for the little glowy eyes. Easy to miss so you might have to look twice.

The eclipse is starting! I'm so wired from the event that I might just stay up for the whole thing. It will be fully eclipsed at 3-something am, another hour from now.

It was downright warm today and is a warm balmy night, the first we've had. It was actually really pleasant walking home with her. Not a single car went by on the usually busy boulevard. So peaceful. With a fuzzy-sided full moon overhead, lighting our way. Once we were inside, Avi wanted to go back outside immediately, she was having a great time, but now she's snuggled on my bed like nothing happened.

Oh the joys of having a spoiled little princess cat. Oof.
serafaery: (Default)
Taking a break from instagram. Did not realize how attached to it I have become, lately. It's such an ugly place. It didn't used to be. I don't know if my feed changed or my friends there changed, I can't tell. My account got reported for posts about feeling sad. Super angry about it. If I actually pay attention to the content of that place, despite how hard I try to keep it to pretty photos and animals and outdoors, it's so much depressing horrible (mostly political) stuff. How can you not expect people who absorb that to get depressed? Hypocrites. I gotta get out of there. I have justified its use for work, but I don't really get much business from that site. It's 99% word of mouth, and 1% facebook.

Will have to find more books while I'm away from there. Maybe I'll just stick to Avalanche posts and nothing else, from now on, I dunno. I think it's time to go.

...

I did get outside at 2:30am and clouds had rolled in, but I waited patiently for a gap and got to see one second of an eerie crescent. I love the black parts of lunar eclipses, the reddish/brown part is not my favorite actually. The different-shaped crescents touch something in my heart.

I still feel terrible. Disrupted sleep isn't helpful. But it's okay. I will be in Vegas tomorrow night, and hopefully in real sunshine all day Thursday, Friday, and much of Saturday.

I will not share photos of red rock canyon to instagram.

depreshun

Mar. 3rd, 2026 10:57 am
serafaery: (Default)
Gunna be here a lot while I detox from instagram.

Just finished another a/c quote, this one was much easier than the last two. I almost feel like, I would pay extra just to work with this place because it just feels better being in this person's presence. I don't know if that's a legit reason to pay more but we'll see what the quotes look like. Now that I've had some exposure to what we're looking for and the details involved, it's not as overwhelming and I can contribute to the conversation a little bit. I know what a load count is and we know about different kinds of energy efficiency, we know where the concrete pad needs to go for the unit and how far from the house it has to sit, etc. I will get one more quote, I think 4 is best in this instance.

adulting, bleargh.

Avalanche came out and snuggled with me on the deck this morning during my morning light therapy time, she was much snugglier than usual, extra affectionate, head-bumping me repeatedly, but she is staying inside otherwise. I wonder if she got more spooked than I realized, last night, on her little adventure. Or if it's just the incoming clouds and rain and drop in barometric pressure she feels. It's not forecasted to rain until tonight but it suddenly looks very dark and dreary outside, I think I will pull the deck chair back under cover now.

Josh admitted that he could have just forgotten to close the gate last night. That's totally possible, but I still want to get a lockable gate latch. We can put it on the inside, where there is no latch currently. Double up, why not.

Must try to make myself get changed and go do silks. I am so tired and achey and sad and unmotivated and just want to do absolutely nothing. Curl back up into bed and listen to self-care meditations. "I don't have to do anything to be worthy of love." I think silks will help. I can finish getting ready for the trip and setting up cat-sitting and all that when I get back. After another cup of coffee, ha.

Tummy hurts at the prospect of movement. Head is starting to hurt.

But movement is the only thing that will make me feel better. I know this from experience.
serafaery: (Default)
Air tag is set up and attached to Avalanche's collar. Hopefully this means she'll never escape again lol. She's not thrilled. I will keep an eye on her and make sure she's tolerating it okay, it's a bit clunky.

We'll keep her inside during our trip, it'll be okay, it'll be rainy and she likes being mostly inside in bad weather anyway.

My phone will alert me if she ever leaves the house. Super cool.

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