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We don't get to know what it is.
Mar. 12th, 2022 09:05 amIt's a bright sunny morning but will turn to rain in the afternoon, so I want to make the most of the brightness.
There is a kitty on my lap. We played this morning, he ran and chased all the toys lots and lots. I think this is when he's happiest, when playing.
Because he's declawed (before I got him) and we have hardwoods, it's hard for him to play in the apartment on the floor, so I open the door to the carpeted shared hallway/lobby thing our building has and we play out there. He loves galloping from the couch to the hall carpet and back, with his tail curved all funny in excitement, it's pretty cute. This is the most exercise he gets, although he occasionally runs a little when we are outside, after birds or bugs. I can get him to run up and down the carpeted stairs after his little fuzzy yarn tuft balls sometimes. The neighbors are rarely around and don't ever seem to notice or care. Our entryway is shared by 4 apartments, but Rebecca is gone a lot, the kids upstairs have regular work schedules, and the neighbors directly across from us on the 1st floor are retired and always away on trips. We've been here since Christmas and have only met them twice. We have entrances to the front and back of our apartments, and I feel like most people use the back, which opens out to the street instead of the inner courtyard, and is not carpeted. So that leaves the front entryway rarely used, except to collect mail. And for Lunar to play, yay!
That anorexia movie was just kind of okay. I think it had room for more poignancy and character development, but they did their best. I really, really liked Keanu's character though and his philosophy of life, it's pretty similar to what I understand Keanu himself believes about life and it brings me so much comfort, because it's how I see things, too. And it can be lonely to be truly lacking in belief of anything divine, but also to believe that with all its ugliness and pain, life is still worth fighting for. His big seminal quote as the doctor who's treating anorexics went like this:
Eli: "I just don't see the point."
Dr. Beckham: "In what? ... There is no point. Or at least, Big Picture? We don't get to know what it is. Why we live. Why Megan lost the baby, why that girl killed herself. I can't reassure you. This idea you have, that there's a way to be safe. It's childish and cowardly. It stops you from experiencing anything, including anything good."
Eli: "Don't you think I feel bad enough already? I know I'm messed up. You're supposed to teach me how not to be."
Dr Beckham: "You know how. Stop waiting for life to be easy. Stop hoping for somebody to save you. You don't need another person lying to you. Things don't all add up. But you are resilient. Face some hard facts, and you can have an incredible life."
siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. the truth in this. the truth.
I did not realize that chronic over-exercising was a typical part of anorexia for a lot of people. that makes me a bit nervous, looking at my own behaviors. I'm not anywhere close to this disease, but I do have some disordered thinking around food and a touch of body dysmorphia. just something to be aware of.
There is a kitty on my lap. We played this morning, he ran and chased all the toys lots and lots. I think this is when he's happiest, when playing.
Because he's declawed (before I got him) and we have hardwoods, it's hard for him to play in the apartment on the floor, so I open the door to the carpeted shared hallway/lobby thing our building has and we play out there. He loves galloping from the couch to the hall carpet and back, with his tail curved all funny in excitement, it's pretty cute. This is the most exercise he gets, although he occasionally runs a little when we are outside, after birds or bugs. I can get him to run up and down the carpeted stairs after his little fuzzy yarn tuft balls sometimes. The neighbors are rarely around and don't ever seem to notice or care. Our entryway is shared by 4 apartments, but Rebecca is gone a lot, the kids upstairs have regular work schedules, and the neighbors directly across from us on the 1st floor are retired and always away on trips. We've been here since Christmas and have only met them twice. We have entrances to the front and back of our apartments, and I feel like most people use the back, which opens out to the street instead of the inner courtyard, and is not carpeted. So that leaves the front entryway rarely used, except to collect mail. And for Lunar to play, yay!
That anorexia movie was just kind of okay. I think it had room for more poignancy and character development, but they did their best. I really, really liked Keanu's character though and his philosophy of life, it's pretty similar to what I understand Keanu himself believes about life and it brings me so much comfort, because it's how I see things, too. And it can be lonely to be truly lacking in belief of anything divine, but also to believe that with all its ugliness and pain, life is still worth fighting for. His big seminal quote as the doctor who's treating anorexics went like this:
Eli: "I just don't see the point."
Dr. Beckham: "In what? ... There is no point. Or at least, Big Picture? We don't get to know what it is. Why we live. Why Megan lost the baby, why that girl killed herself. I can't reassure you. This idea you have, that there's a way to be safe. It's childish and cowardly. It stops you from experiencing anything, including anything good."
Eli: "Don't you think I feel bad enough already? I know I'm messed up. You're supposed to teach me how not to be."
Dr Beckham: "You know how. Stop waiting for life to be easy. Stop hoping for somebody to save you. You don't need another person lying to you. Things don't all add up. But you are resilient. Face some hard facts, and you can have an incredible life."
siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. the truth in this. the truth.
I did not realize that chronic over-exercising was a typical part of anorexia for a lot of people. that makes me a bit nervous, looking at my own behaviors. I'm not anywhere close to this disease, but I do have some disordered thinking around food and a touch of body dysmorphia. just something to be aware of.
