big shifts. low mood. new perspectives.

still very low, but, josh is helping me a lot. he dragged me to circus open gym tonight. i couldn't do much but i tried. my hands were on fire but i climbed anyway. sometimes pain is good to push through. even when it's exhausting.

i've eaten half a giant container of icelandic skyr (and a bunch of other food) and i don't even care. i'll just be chubby for a few days fuggit.

maybe i can run tomorrow evening. sunset isn't until 9pm lol. northern latitudes are weird.

i still want out of this city and away from my brother and just everything.

but there is so much good, here, too. my friends are reaching out, the new ones? this is new and different and delightful. are we getting close? are these my new people? can i finally let go of the ones who are going to ren faires without inviting me, after masking outdoors the last 3+ years while i tried desperately to find ways to connect with them, only to be left waving at them from the sidewalk in front of their houses?

josh helps so much. i married a good man.