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aahhhhhhhhhh, I'm sick! I have a fever. it struck last night.
all of the physical pain and nausea makes sense now. fighting off some sort of flu. covid test was negative. i was just thrown off because i have no respiratory symptoms - but i did have that little twinge of a sore throat the other day, so yeah. sick.
still nauseated. no appetite. the body aches explain all the pain i've been experiencing. i didn't take any painkillers last night because i was just too nauseated. it makes sense that the only food that sounded in any way appealing lately was grilled cheese - something i very rarely eat. i generally don't eat bread or cheese at all.
gunna thaw out my frozen ramen, that sounds comforting. i feel a weird mix of hungry and not wanting to eat.
rescheduled all my sparkling for next sunday. it's fine. I'm sad i won't get the full week off i was hoping for but it's okay. i did schedule the rest of this week off, for halloweeny things, so i can just rest the next few days and not stress.
hopefully i'll be better in time for shadowplay thursday and definitely for VNV Nation on Friday.
..
I'm really glad I watched a video of VNV Nation's live show in Berlin from this summer, because it will prepare me to be disappointed lol. Ronan is Irish and during my favorite song, he had a bunch of friends come out on stage and give him beer and they all started drinking and he just kinda forgot to sing the song at all, it was AWFUL. This song means a lot to me and he was giggling and drinking and talking about beer through the whole thing. So annoying. So at least I'll be ready for him to ruin my favorite things about his music, now. I can just relax and have a good time and not take it seriously, and be grateful for the clean recorded versions of his songs.
It was also really sad because he never sang Perpetual, which is Finley's favorite. Twice while he was rambling on stage (he talked to the crowd more than anyone I've ever seen - it was kind of obnoxious to be honest) I could hear the crowd, which was German, singing the melody of Perpetual, all together, passionately, really loudly, like I could hear it through Ronan's mic several meters away on stage, in an attempt to get Ronan to perform it. He scolded them! They did it again during another bout of his verbal rambling during his encore, and he STILL didn't sing it. So sad. Do you not care about your fans at all? Aren't they kinda the reason you succeed at your craft? So disappointing.
I know it's hard when people get older, and he's really overweight and out of shape, I guess he's just kinda over it. Life is hard, I know. I'm still glad I get to see them, anyway. I love the concept of the band. Victory Not Vengeance. He has always strived to be a light in the darkness, so to speak, in the dark synth scene. It'll be okay. I just know Finley will be so let down. I'll have to distract him with kisses, ha.
..
it's hard to be sick during such nice weather but i can just lie in the grass outside and read or something, i think my fever broke already so i think i'm on the mend.
i'm really grateful for my Oura ring fitness tracker, it alerted me to the fever this morning and it knew I was sick and closed down my activity goals automatically. "Take it easy" is all it reads for today. I've never seen my HRV this low, it's in the teens! like, consistently! When it's normally floating close to 100, or 40s/50s when I'm stressed and overworked. My resting HR never got below 60 last night either, a first since I got the ring. It typically floats near (sometimes even below) 40bpm.
people were kind about rescheduling, i'm so lucky to do what i do for work.
will probably journal a lot since i'm stuck not doing anything for a bit. all good.
all of the physical pain and nausea makes sense now. fighting off some sort of flu. covid test was negative. i was just thrown off because i have no respiratory symptoms - but i did have that little twinge of a sore throat the other day, so yeah. sick.
still nauseated. no appetite. the body aches explain all the pain i've been experiencing. i didn't take any painkillers last night because i was just too nauseated. it makes sense that the only food that sounded in any way appealing lately was grilled cheese - something i very rarely eat. i generally don't eat bread or cheese at all.
gunna thaw out my frozen ramen, that sounds comforting. i feel a weird mix of hungry and not wanting to eat.
rescheduled all my sparkling for next sunday. it's fine. I'm sad i won't get the full week off i was hoping for but it's okay. i did schedule the rest of this week off, for halloweeny things, so i can just rest the next few days and not stress.
hopefully i'll be better in time for shadowplay thursday and definitely for VNV Nation on Friday.
..
I'm really glad I watched a video of VNV Nation's live show in Berlin from this summer, because it will prepare me to be disappointed lol. Ronan is Irish and during my favorite song, he had a bunch of friends come out on stage and give him beer and they all started drinking and he just kinda forgot to sing the song at all, it was AWFUL. This song means a lot to me and he was giggling and drinking and talking about beer through the whole thing. So annoying. So at least I'll be ready for him to ruin my favorite things about his music, now. I can just relax and have a good time and not take it seriously, and be grateful for the clean recorded versions of his songs.
It was also really sad because he never sang Perpetual, which is Finley's favorite. Twice while he was rambling on stage (he talked to the crowd more than anyone I've ever seen - it was kind of obnoxious to be honest) I could hear the crowd, which was German, singing the melody of Perpetual, all together, passionately, really loudly, like I could hear it through Ronan's mic several meters away on stage, in an attempt to get Ronan to perform it. He scolded them! They did it again during another bout of his verbal rambling during his encore, and he STILL didn't sing it. So sad. Do you not care about your fans at all? Aren't they kinda the reason you succeed at your craft? So disappointing.
I know it's hard when people get older, and he's really overweight and out of shape, I guess he's just kinda over it. Life is hard, I know. I'm still glad I get to see them, anyway. I love the concept of the band. Victory Not Vengeance. He has always strived to be a light in the darkness, so to speak, in the dark synth scene. It'll be okay. I just know Finley will be so let down. I'll have to distract him with kisses, ha.
..
it's hard to be sick during such nice weather but i can just lie in the grass outside and read or something, i think my fever broke already so i think i'm on the mend.
i'm really grateful for my Oura ring fitness tracker, it alerted me to the fever this morning and it knew I was sick and closed down my activity goals automatically. "Take it easy" is all it reads for today. I've never seen my HRV this low, it's in the teens! like, consistently! When it's normally floating close to 100, or 40s/50s when I'm stressed and overworked. My resting HR never got below 60 last night either, a first since I got the ring. It typically floats near (sometimes even below) 40bpm.
people were kind about rescheduling, i'm so lucky to do what i do for work.
will probably journal a lot since i'm stuck not doing anything for a bit. all good.
