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nothing but gratitude.
Oct. 7th, 2023 08:47 amit's been really intense watching Charles, Kara's husband, process Kara's death on social media. I've been following her cancer blog for over four years, and he has taken it over. He picked up her ashes this week and it has been excruciating for him. It makes me really glad that I waited until the urns were ready and filled to pick up mom's. It took nearly a full year and I was grateful for the wait, and grateful to not have mom's ashes in a cardboard box while I waited. I already went through that with dad (he never got an urn), and it was not pleasant.
It also reminds me that I never got Lunar's paw prints - the company who did them is in Oregon City and does not mail them, they've been waiting for pick-up for a year. It seems like a very long drive for paw prints that I paid $50 for - $50 for someone to dip my dead cat's paws in ink and press them to art paper. I'm a little grumpy about it. Just mail them to me. But they "don't do that," I guess.
maybe i don't really want them anyway. his little mutilated paws. he came to me declawed, clearly as a very young kitten, so poorly done that his toebeans were not round - they were misshapen little scarred raisins.
but he was my dearest love for over a year and I miss him terribly. as the painkillers were wearing off last night i got a little weepy in the courtyard thinking about him. the courtyard is always sad to me now, without him. they also installed electrical poles and wires recently, so a landscape that used to be all brick and tall old trees and old fashioned lamp posts has been marred by poles and wires. no more beautiful videos of the clouds of crows on warm october evenings - all you would see is power lines and posts polluting the scene.
they're still beautiful to watch in person, though - when it's in person, ones attention can naturally filter out the lines and poles.
going to try out my newly repaired bike this morning, and go to the farmers market. I've never had a new cassette on a bike before, my brakes and handle grips are also new, I'm excited. it will be a very gentle, soft ride as I'm still in a great deal of pain. We have plenty of food so I won't buy much. a little fall produce and berries and mushrooms perhaps. maybe some body care products if i can find any. a burrito for josh. smoked salmon from the natives.
i did not take any more painkillers last night. i am extremely proud of myself. my hip still hurts a lot and it did wake me up a few times, but i was able to sleep much better than the night before. my tummy hurts a little from the drugs but not too bad. only one day of damage and coffee is blunting the crash. it's quite gentle. I feel fine. no harm done and such a lovely respite from the pain, last night.
I'm really glad i held onto those pills. they're ten years old, ha. hydrocodone doesn't go bad though, it just slowly loses potency over time. never pay attention to those expiration dates, at least not for this medication.
it's going to be 80 again today and i'm so blissed out over it. nothing but gratitude. this coffee is heaven.
It also reminds me that I never got Lunar's paw prints - the company who did them is in Oregon City and does not mail them, they've been waiting for pick-up for a year. It seems like a very long drive for paw prints that I paid $50 for - $50 for someone to dip my dead cat's paws in ink and press them to art paper. I'm a little grumpy about it. Just mail them to me. But they "don't do that," I guess.
maybe i don't really want them anyway. his little mutilated paws. he came to me declawed, clearly as a very young kitten, so poorly done that his toebeans were not round - they were misshapen little scarred raisins.
but he was my dearest love for over a year and I miss him terribly. as the painkillers were wearing off last night i got a little weepy in the courtyard thinking about him. the courtyard is always sad to me now, without him. they also installed electrical poles and wires recently, so a landscape that used to be all brick and tall old trees and old fashioned lamp posts has been marred by poles and wires. no more beautiful videos of the clouds of crows on warm october evenings - all you would see is power lines and posts polluting the scene.
they're still beautiful to watch in person, though - when it's in person, ones attention can naturally filter out the lines and poles.
going to try out my newly repaired bike this morning, and go to the farmers market. I've never had a new cassette on a bike before, my brakes and handle grips are also new, I'm excited. it will be a very gentle, soft ride as I'm still in a great deal of pain. We have plenty of food so I won't buy much. a little fall produce and berries and mushrooms perhaps. maybe some body care products if i can find any. a burrito for josh. smoked salmon from the natives.
i did not take any more painkillers last night. i am extremely proud of myself. my hip still hurts a lot and it did wake me up a few times, but i was able to sleep much better than the night before. my tummy hurts a little from the drugs but not too bad. only one day of damage and coffee is blunting the crash. it's quite gentle. I feel fine. no harm done and such a lovely respite from the pain, last night.
I'm really glad i held onto those pills. they're ten years old, ha. hydrocodone doesn't go bad though, it just slowly loses potency over time. never pay attention to those expiration dates, at least not for this medication.
it's going to be 80 again today and i'm so blissed out over it. nothing but gratitude. this coffee is heaven.
