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January fog.
Jan. 31st, 2026 09:43 amJosh is coming home today, I am hoping to get the floors swept, mopped, and vacuumed before I have to leave to pick him up. We'll see how I do. I also would love to do PT, bake banana bread, bonus would be to vacuum the couch and brush the cat trees, and to leave early enough to leisurely shop at the coop on the way to the airport. Oh and I need to get gas. And I need to get dressed. Three hours until departure, hmmmmm. :)
It's fine, whatever happens, happens. I've been too stressed out to put a bunch of pressure on myself about this stuff.
There is the whole situation of our government, that's a given stressor.
Also there is my breast, which is still having weird twinges of pain and I'm starting to think that the cosmetic mistake is also physical, and I'm starting to get really angry. How much would I have to pay to fix it, can it even be fixed, how would I ever allow another doctor to ever touch me ever ever again.
I say that, but I also have a third customer now doing chemo for breast cancer, and just reconnected with one this week who was gone for two years having radiation and surgery for her breasts. Sigh. She LOVES her rebuild. Happy for her. :/
Also, Jackie and Shadow (eagles) lost their first clutch of eggs. This isn't unusual but it's still sad, it was really early in the process and very unusual - they have never just abandoned eggs that were less than a week old to let ravens eat them. The group is all in an uproar about it. I could tell immediately that something wasn't right with the first laying, Jackie was not intent on incubating, and later experts confirmed that one egg was cracked. Bald eagles are very susceptible to toxins and it weakens their eggshells (it's why they were threatened for some time, too much DDT in the water and hence in the fish they were eating), and Jackie and Shadow live in a highly populated area, so it's worrisome. But I also could use a break from nest watch, and maybe they could also use a break from being parents. Last year was really hard and their first year raising two successful fledges. Most of the time the chicks don't make it, or at least most of them don't. I don't really want to go through that.
I think Jackie may suspect, like me, that we are going to have a very late and difficult winter. They can lay a second clutch if the first one fails, but I worry that would entail super harsh weather for super young chicks, this is how many of their chicks died in the past, just, exposure. :( We'll see what she decides to do. I really kinda hope there are no more eggs this year. I may not watch if there are. Eagles are neat but also kind of brutal. They eat *so* much fish. And water foul. And their babies perish. It's just a lot of the harshness of life right in your face.
Gotta take the good with the bad in this wild existence.
Will try to share some images and videos from the last week. I didn't do much other than work yesterday, was mostly recovering from a super fun, super long night at Shadowplay. Derek was on fire and it was a good time. His birthday bash is next week. Will try to think of something special for him.
Did a little crafty project this morning for Josh - he doesn't like cards and it's his birthday weekend and we're not at Summit Prairie like we're supposed to be so I want to do something special for him. So I made him a little garland for his bedroom door. His birthday falls right before Imbolc and the Chinese New Year, so there are some valentines vibes in the air, but we're still in the depths of winter.
you are loved.
Full moon tonight. It's so foggy still! I love it.
...photo sharing....
Neahkanie mt with Josh Sunday
Frosted trees and Loowit from Dog Mt summit trail
dramatic winter landscape in the gorge
happy place (Dog Mt Summit - I hope at least some of my ashes make it up here)
dirty mirror club selfie from Thursday
Dog on Tuesday (the tiniest little snowflakes fell)
Coffin Thursday, it was super busy but I slipped into the coffin room for a break and grabbed a lil snipit of what I generally do when I go there (minus the usual dramatic lights and a bunch of sexy people to flirt with). Charlie in particular looked soooo amazing Thursday, she came in a DRESS which is unheard of, she is a friend of Finley's and I adore the way she dances, she shreds. Manders also gave me lots of attention that night, as did Chanti and Mitch (he's a sweetie). Kiyoki looked amazing as always. Malkom and lots of other regulars were around for hugs and getting down. Lots of random cuties everywhere also. I hung out with Duncan for a bit, but I stayed long after he left. I was sooooo tired and also very happy.
It's fine, whatever happens, happens. I've been too stressed out to put a bunch of pressure on myself about this stuff.
There is the whole situation of our government, that's a given stressor.
Also there is my breast, which is still having weird twinges of pain and I'm starting to think that the cosmetic mistake is also physical, and I'm starting to get really angry. How much would I have to pay to fix it, can it even be fixed, how would I ever allow another doctor to ever touch me ever ever again.
I say that, but I also have a third customer now doing chemo for breast cancer, and just reconnected with one this week who was gone for two years having radiation and surgery for her breasts. Sigh. She LOVES her rebuild. Happy for her. :/
Also, Jackie and Shadow (eagles) lost their first clutch of eggs. This isn't unusual but it's still sad, it was really early in the process and very unusual - they have never just abandoned eggs that were less than a week old to let ravens eat them. The group is all in an uproar about it. I could tell immediately that something wasn't right with the first laying, Jackie was not intent on incubating, and later experts confirmed that one egg was cracked. Bald eagles are very susceptible to toxins and it weakens their eggshells (it's why they were threatened for some time, too much DDT in the water and hence in the fish they were eating), and Jackie and Shadow live in a highly populated area, so it's worrisome. But I also could use a break from nest watch, and maybe they could also use a break from being parents. Last year was really hard and their first year raising two successful fledges. Most of the time the chicks don't make it, or at least most of them don't. I don't really want to go through that.
I think Jackie may suspect, like me, that we are going to have a very late and difficult winter. They can lay a second clutch if the first one fails, but I worry that would entail super harsh weather for super young chicks, this is how many of their chicks died in the past, just, exposure. :( We'll see what she decides to do. I really kinda hope there are no more eggs this year. I may not watch if there are. Eagles are neat but also kind of brutal. They eat *so* much fish. And water foul. And their babies perish. It's just a lot of the harshness of life right in your face.
Gotta take the good with the bad in this wild existence.
Will try to share some images and videos from the last week. I didn't do much other than work yesterday, was mostly recovering from a super fun, super long night at Shadowplay. Derek was on fire and it was a good time. His birthday bash is next week. Will try to think of something special for him.
Did a little crafty project this morning for Josh - he doesn't like cards and it's his birthday weekend and we're not at Summit Prairie like we're supposed to be so I want to do something special for him. So I made him a little garland for his bedroom door. His birthday falls right before Imbolc and the Chinese New Year, so there are some valentines vibes in the air, but we're still in the depths of winter.
you are loved.
Full moon tonight. It's so foggy still! I love it.
...photo sharing....
Neahkanie mt with Josh Sunday
Frosted trees and Loowit from Dog Mt summit trail
dramatic winter landscape in the gorge
happy place (Dog Mt Summit - I hope at least some of my ashes make it up here)
dirty mirror club selfie from Thursday
Dog on Tuesday (the tiniest little snowflakes fell)
Coffin Thursday, it was super busy but I slipped into the coffin room for a break and grabbed a lil snipit of what I generally do when I go there (minus the usual dramatic lights and a bunch of sexy people to flirt with). Charlie in particular looked soooo amazing Thursday, she came in a DRESS which is unheard of, she is a friend of Finley's and I adore the way she dances, she shreds. Manders also gave me lots of attention that night, as did Chanti and Mitch (he's a sweetie). Kiyoki looked amazing as always. Malkom and lots of other regulars were around for hugs and getting down. Lots of random cuties everywhere also. I hung out with Duncan for a bit, but I stayed long after he left. I was sooooo tired and also very happy.
