serafaery

turns out Josh will not be back soon. the snow is still falling and it took him 3 hours to get to Bend, instead of the typical 40 minutes. oops. he is afraid to drive back, he spun out at one point and passed so many wrecks and closed roads. so I told him to take his time and do what he needs to do. he has my skis, sadly, but my ski boots are here, so I will go tromp around in the snow while I wait for him to make his slow return. it's a beautiful surprise, I don't mind being alone and stranded in all this beauty. the snow is very soothing to my grief. i remember when i was going through mom's house, after she lost it (I did not salvage enough, I didn't have the space or the energy, back then, to save what I needed to save, it's really sad) there were photos of the most recent winter snowfall taped all over the kitchen, photos of the back yard and plants and trees blanketed in snow. mom found such beauty and magic in snow, always.

a huge hawk just flew by, and a crane landed in the field across the road. need to go get out into it here shortly. having the cookies i baked yesterday morning before we left for breakfast (chocolate chip with whole grain spelt flour, coconut oil, cranberries and walnuts) along with sweet/salty roasted hazelnuts and a mandarin orange, and coffeeeeeeeeee.

i'm grateful to be here.

tried to call tyler but his phone is off. i wonder what he is up to.