perspective adjustment.
Jul. 26th, 2022 03:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serafaeryI’ve never been to Hawaii. I don’t want to go. Waste of fuel on a burning planet.
My futon mattress was $50 on Craigslist, I am 47 and don’t own a real bed.
We don’t have a dishwasher.
I live in a 2br apartment where my office and my bedroom are the same room.
My parents are dead. My grandparents were either dead before I was born, or before I became an adult. There is no safety net, no family support, no family home. My brother much older and is not well, ands treats me like I am expected to take care of him.
I owe nearly six figures from a fifty thousand dollar school loan taken out in 2000 and paid into every month since 2005. It hasn’t qualified for any government forgiveness or pause during pandemic, even though it is a government subsidized loan, because of nonsensical terms that were ruled to be unethical and dissolved after the fact. But those of us who got this type of loan are still just stuck with it.
I wish the world would stop asking me for money. I need to stop giving away money to strangers who have more than me.
My life is beautiful. Why do I feel like I don’t deserve it.
(In a ton of physical and emotional pain, today.)
My futon mattress was $50 on Craigslist, I am 47 and don’t own a real bed.
We don’t have a dishwasher.
I live in a 2br apartment where my office and my bedroom are the same room.
My parents are dead. My grandparents were either dead before I was born, or before I became an adult. There is no safety net, no family support, no family home. My brother much older and is not well, ands treats me like I am expected to take care of him.
I owe nearly six figures from a fifty thousand dollar school loan taken out in 2000 and paid into every month since 2005. It hasn’t qualified for any government forgiveness or pause during pandemic, even though it is a government subsidized loan, because of nonsensical terms that were ruled to be unethical and dissolved after the fact. But those of us who got this type of loan are still just stuck with it.
I wish the world would stop asking me for money. I need to stop giving away money to strangers who have more than me.
My life is beautiful. Why do I feel like I don’t deserve it.
(In a ton of physical and emotional pain, today.)
