serafaery

the last two days i've been eating beautiful food and it all makes me nauseated. even avocado toast. it's sad. guess i will stop eating for the rest of the day, again. try again tomorrow.

didn't make it to the bank. hopefully tomorrow. lunar's walk took too long. way over an hour, today. the weather is perfect and he was happy, it was worth it.

i got a nice package in the mail.

hopefully after some rest i can dye my hair, fix the fridge, clean the kitchen, sweep the floors, clean my room, maybe draft that email or at least try to start.

go running later? will see how i feel in an hour or so, after traffic dies down.

feeling kind of defeated and awful, wish my body and mood would cooperate. i don't understand how anybody gets by in this world really. i think i'm just feeling overwhelmed by the cat and how loss is so triggering for me, after losing so much in my life. too much loss.

trying to pull myself out of people-pleasing mode and it's really hard to just be. feels like i'm going to do nothing but disappoint everyone. but that's okay, they can be disappointed.