smoke is not supposed to be weather.

[serafaery]

current weather forecast reads: 62°F and Smoke.

I can't even.

Sobbed all the way home from the rink.

I have six ACEs. I get too triggered too frequently. Much of my trauma is untreated (I used the AA sister program, Al-Anon, to treat myself for the family alcoholism - but the sexual, mental illness, and physical and emotional abuse trauma remains neglected).

This smoke is unbearable to witness.

I need my cat and my family and they're dead and it sucks.

I know this feeling will pass, I am so grateful for my husband and my relative safety and all of the good things in my life and my work and my friendships, I am so fortunate, I know that. I think I am PMSing too so that's part of it. This feeling will pass, the smoke will eventually give way to rain.

It's just really painful to exist in this, right now. Just trying to honor my process and grieve and release appropriately.

Comments

[faeryboots]

So sorry life hurts so much. Gentle hugs. 💛

[arethinn]

All I've heard about this is from your postings, basically... it hasn't made the news that I've seen, unlike a few years back when the smoke was blanketing the Pacific. Yet this Cedar Creek fire has been burning for two and a half months and is up to 125,000 acres?? We were fortunate in California this year (and I hope I'm not jumping the gun to speak in the past tense) but I don't know why we haven't heard about what's going on further north.