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Dec. 12th, 2024 09:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serafaerygot a lot done, yesterday.
looking for a house is soooo stressful.
it makes me realize i really need to dig deeper to try to find a new booking system that works better for me. I think the calendar system through square has become so unusable at this point that people are literally giving up on trying to see me because of how confusing it is.
and i need to make more income next year if i'm going to be able to help josh with a down payment and a mortgage.
ugh.
It was interesting though. I had this kind of deep heart to heart with josh about hoarding and clutter, and somehow just having him sit and listen to me dislodged something and I was able to make a huge dent in the clutter in my room last night. It's not perfect but a massive pile has been completely eliminated. And it didn't even really feel hard. It was as if something inside of me just was screaming to be noticed, and trying to use junk to get heard, or something? Anyway, I'm grateful. The floors are finally clean. I did laundry and am caught up on dishes. Things are not perfect but they are better. Much better. The tree isn't up but the base is waiting and all the ornaments and lights are staged, it will happen today after work, I think.
Finley invited me to Nectar but I'm not sure I want to go. Amanda is going and Elina will most likely be there, I'm just not a fan of being the oldest woman at a dance. And getting pressed up against strangers during cold and flu season sounds unwise.
But I might go just to hang out with Amanda? I don't know. Azalea is going to be there and before she was Azalea I had a suffered some horrific unwanted touch from (formerly) Dominic. So I'm not thrilled with seeing her or having to keep her away from me tactfully without causing a scene.
We're headed into the deepest darkest part of the year and I am thrilled. I embrace the darkness fully and completely. I adore winter. I feel safe and quiet and cozy, spiritually. A time to give myself permission to rest and slow down.
I hope I can get some reading and writing done, today.
Might try to call my cousin Tom before work, we'll see. I kind of want to suggest that he make sure all of the cousins are okay with an atheist before he invites me into their group calls. I don't need to be exposed to a dozen strangers who think I'm going to hell, who think they have some sort of leg to stand on to judge me just because they share a couple of ancestors with me. Grandma Faye would not approve, I'm pretty sure.
Need to compose an email and box up an order and then see if I can make myself take a shower. I have an hour and a half before I need to leave. Oh and maybe eat something, huh. Maybe cook something for Joshter to go with his chili I made yesterday.
looking for a house is soooo stressful.
it makes me realize i really need to dig deeper to try to find a new booking system that works better for me. I think the calendar system through square has become so unusable at this point that people are literally giving up on trying to see me because of how confusing it is.
and i need to make more income next year if i'm going to be able to help josh with a down payment and a mortgage.
ugh.
It was interesting though. I had this kind of deep heart to heart with josh about hoarding and clutter, and somehow just having him sit and listen to me dislodged something and I was able to make a huge dent in the clutter in my room last night. It's not perfect but a massive pile has been completely eliminated. And it didn't even really feel hard. It was as if something inside of me just was screaming to be noticed, and trying to use junk to get heard, or something? Anyway, I'm grateful. The floors are finally clean. I did laundry and am caught up on dishes. Things are not perfect but they are better. Much better. The tree isn't up but the base is waiting and all the ornaments and lights are staged, it will happen today after work, I think.
Finley invited me to Nectar but I'm not sure I want to go. Amanda is going and Elina will most likely be there, I'm just not a fan of being the oldest woman at a dance. And getting pressed up against strangers during cold and flu season sounds unwise.
But I might go just to hang out with Amanda? I don't know. Azalea is going to be there and before she was Azalea I had a suffered some horrific unwanted touch from (formerly) Dominic. So I'm not thrilled with seeing her or having to keep her away from me tactfully without causing a scene.
We're headed into the deepest darkest part of the year and I am thrilled. I embrace the darkness fully and completely. I adore winter. I feel safe and quiet and cozy, spiritually. A time to give myself permission to rest and slow down.
I hope I can get some reading and writing done, today.
Might try to call my cousin Tom before work, we'll see. I kind of want to suggest that he make sure all of the cousins are okay with an atheist before he invites me into their group calls. I don't need to be exposed to a dozen strangers who think I'm going to hell, who think they have some sort of leg to stand on to judge me just because they share a couple of ancestors with me. Grandma Faye would not approve, I'm pretty sure.
Need to compose an email and box up an order and then see if I can make myself take a shower. I have an hour and a half before I need to leave. Oh and maybe eat something, huh. Maybe cook something for Joshter to go with his chili I made yesterday.
