serafaery

I don't understand the messed up algorithm that caused youtube to pitch this video to me, and what messed up part of me decided to watch it, but it ended up being so gripping and somehow incredibly comforting. Not recommending watching, especially if one has any sexual abuse trauma, but, I guess the thing about it is.... this is sooooooo much worse than anything I experienced, but there are a few creepy parallels - I also have childhood memory gaps and pedophilia experiences that involve blurry scary moments of pain and not much else, but my mom also did day care, and was a beacon in her community, and refused to talk about whatever happened to her to make her the way she was toward me, and it's *nothing* like what this girl describes but there are emotional and financial elements that overlap and I just... I guess it's comforting because my heart wants to hold hers, and I feel like, maybe that means there could also be a part of myself that is redeemable and loveable, despite how much shame I feel so much of the time. Anyway.

Watch on YouTube