focusing on gentleness and grace
Jun. 23rd, 2025 09:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serafaeryIn happier news, Josh and I hiked Lyle Cherry Orchard yesterday and saw the burn area from the Rowena fire and it does not look bad at all, I'm sure there are sections we can't see and I did see some homes burned which is very sad, but for the most part the Gorge looks the same, it was not nearly as bad as the 2017 fires, and Rowena Crest, with the hike and wildflowers, are all okay. Just to the east of it is not, but maybe because it was so early in the season, the fire sort of zigzagged and big swaths of land are untouched, and many of the mature trees in the burn areas seem okay, it looks like mostly underbrush that got damaged.
The hike was beautiful and Josh was very happy.
(I would have rather been on Dog Mountain, but that's okay.)
We also saw the brush fire areas on hwy 14 on the way home, they were small (both were 50 or less acres) and won't leave big scars either. So relieved.
I let that customer altercation mess up my entire day, but I don't see the point of beating myself up about it. In retrospect, the whole thing would have gone much better if I had just confronted her the first time her card got declined, or the second time, instead of just hoping blocking her would keep her from coming back. This is the first time I've ever used the block feature though, so there was no way for me to know it wouldn't work. A good learning experience, I just wish I had the emotional regulation to not let it effect my entire day like that. I stress ate candy and cookies and dove into hours of youtube rabbit holes to distract from the unbearable anxiety, and avoided my phone for the entire day. I missed all the sunshine and the chance to do laundry or catch up on the website. The messages she sent back were not unkind, but she did try to say she never canceled on me, when I have text evidence of exactly that happening. So that kind of sucks, but she's just confused and as I said before, her life is hard, but she's not being mean about it, and I'm grateful for that. But she is trying to avoid responsibility, or is maybe just overwhelmed/confused, life can be like that. I might refer her to other sparklers who cost less in the morning, that might be my best option in this scenario, since she is saying she can't afford to pay late fees and even the sparkles are a stretch for her financially. guh. I don't like the idea of giving my competition more business but I dunno what else to do. I get it - a lot of us are struggling. Me too. But I can't let people take advantage of me, even by mistake, if it happens more than once. I'm past that phase of my life, I hope.
The woes of service work. It'll be okay, I'll feel much better tomorrow. Maybe I can go see bear grass, or if I'm still in pain, stay home and do some gentle self-care.
It's fine to lose a day here and there, it happens, life can't always be productive, some days are just duds. I'll recover. There is lots to look forward to.
The hike was beautiful and Josh was very happy.
(I would have rather been on Dog Mountain, but that's okay.)
We also saw the brush fire areas on hwy 14 on the way home, they were small (both were 50 or less acres) and won't leave big scars either. So relieved.
I let that customer altercation mess up my entire day, but I don't see the point of beating myself up about it. In retrospect, the whole thing would have gone much better if I had just confronted her the first time her card got declined, or the second time, instead of just hoping blocking her would keep her from coming back. This is the first time I've ever used the block feature though, so there was no way for me to know it wouldn't work. A good learning experience, I just wish I had the emotional regulation to not let it effect my entire day like that. I stress ate candy and cookies and dove into hours of youtube rabbit holes to distract from the unbearable anxiety, and avoided my phone for the entire day. I missed all the sunshine and the chance to do laundry or catch up on the website. The messages she sent back were not unkind, but she did try to say she never canceled on me, when I have text evidence of exactly that happening. So that kind of sucks, but she's just confused and as I said before, her life is hard, but she's not being mean about it, and I'm grateful for that. But she is trying to avoid responsibility, or is maybe just overwhelmed/confused, life can be like that. I might refer her to other sparklers who cost less in the morning, that might be my best option in this scenario, since she is saying she can't afford to pay late fees and even the sparkles are a stretch for her financially. guh. I don't like the idea of giving my competition more business but I dunno what else to do. I get it - a lot of us are struggling. Me too. But I can't let people take advantage of me, even by mistake, if it happens more than once. I'm past that phase of my life, I hope.
The woes of service work. It'll be okay, I'll feel much better tomorrow. Maybe I can go see bear grass, or if I'm still in pain, stay home and do some gentle self-care.
It's fine to lose a day here and there, it happens, life can't always be productive, some days are just duds. I'll recover. There is lots to look forward to.
