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serafaeryMust sleep. Dog Mountain was beautiful and frigid and perfect and my fingers still hurt a little bit (worth it).
Not sure how to navigate any media right now.
I wanted to say.... Josh and I hosted our former neighbors for dinner over here the other night, and I felt so drained and sad afterward. I am not exactly sure of their ages but I know Michael is over 70 because he said so, and he is soooooo self-conscious about it. They are childless, and when we mentioned a couple of things that to us is pedestrian information, about identity security and about money (we were discussing the process of buying a house), they had vacant stares. I know it's hard to keep up when you don't have young people around to help, or close friends who happen to know this stuff - I certainly would know nothing about investing without Josh - but it scares me so much, for my own future, to see them not only not know, but then not ask any follow-up questions - not wanting to know. I get that they don't know us very well and maybe we are not close enough friends to feel they could trust us to offer anything valuable or trustworthy, but also, they are so lost, and I am so worried for them. Sigh. It makes me want to help them, but also it makes me worry for our future. How does one avoid this sort of predicament, if one is child free (or does not have a relationship with ones children)? It's scary to think of how many people out there are so naive and vulnerable. My parents were like this. I don't want to end up like this.
I do not enjoy their company but Josh does, and the connection is really important to Michael who is an interesting person, so Josh wants to get together with them quarterly. I am glad for this, maybe a real friendship can grow and maybe we can actually help them a tiny bit.
It just worries me how vulnerable people can get. And how limiting it can be to buy into beliefs about aging. My goodness. Michael thinks everyone who lays eyes on him sees nothing but an old guy. I don't think everyone is so quick to judge or even really notices much or cares? Josh and I are hoping and working very hard toward a vibrant 7th decade, if we are so lucky. He turns 49 tomorrow so we have some time yet. But we're hoping to have lots more fun for lots more time, like his parents. And, hopefully, if we are even more lucky, a gentle and peaceful and still connected 8th and 9th decade. I hope. I do. I guess, I have to keep connected to younger people. And it certainly won't be anyone I'm related to. But. Maybe there will be more friends out there for me, of various ages. Older friends are important, too! It's so fascinating to experience my own brain developing, I just finished this Essentialism book that was written by a young person and although I am grateful for the few little gems of insight in the beginning, for the most part it just seemed so shallow and childish to read. This is something that would be interesting to someone in their 30s, I kept thinking. We're past that.
I need more people around me who are already past that.
Not sure how to navigate any media right now.
I wanted to say.... Josh and I hosted our former neighbors for dinner over here the other night, and I felt so drained and sad afterward. I am not exactly sure of their ages but I know Michael is over 70 because he said so, and he is soooooo self-conscious about it. They are childless, and when we mentioned a couple of things that to us is pedestrian information, about identity security and about money (we were discussing the process of buying a house), they had vacant stares. I know it's hard to keep up when you don't have young people around to help, or close friends who happen to know this stuff - I certainly would know nothing about investing without Josh - but it scares me so much, for my own future, to see them not only not know, but then not ask any follow-up questions - not wanting to know. I get that they don't know us very well and maybe we are not close enough friends to feel they could trust us to offer anything valuable or trustworthy, but also, they are so lost, and I am so worried for them. Sigh. It makes me want to help them, but also it makes me worry for our future. How does one avoid this sort of predicament, if one is child free (or does not have a relationship with ones children)? It's scary to think of how many people out there are so naive and vulnerable. My parents were like this. I don't want to end up like this.
I do not enjoy their company but Josh does, and the connection is really important to Michael who is an interesting person, so Josh wants to get together with them quarterly. I am glad for this, maybe a real friendship can grow and maybe we can actually help them a tiny bit.
It just worries me how vulnerable people can get. And how limiting it can be to buy into beliefs about aging. My goodness. Michael thinks everyone who lays eyes on him sees nothing but an old guy. I don't think everyone is so quick to judge or even really notices much or cares? Josh and I are hoping and working very hard toward a vibrant 7th decade, if we are so lucky. He turns 49 tomorrow so we have some time yet. But we're hoping to have lots more fun for lots more time, like his parents. And, hopefully, if we are even more lucky, a gentle and peaceful and still connected 8th and 9th decade. I hope. I do. I guess, I have to keep connected to younger people. And it certainly won't be anyone I'm related to. But. Maybe there will be more friends out there for me, of various ages. Older friends are important, too! It's so fascinating to experience my own brain developing, I just finished this Essentialism book that was written by a young person and although I am grateful for the few little gems of insight in the beginning, for the most part it just seemed so shallow and childish to read. This is something that would be interesting to someone in their 30s, I kept thinking. We're past that.
I need more people around me who are already past that.
