gentle november
Nov. 8th, 2026 06:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serafaeryIt's been such a pretty November so far. A little bit disconcerting, but. We have had one frosty morning, at least. Mostly it rains all night and then we get sparkling sunshine in the day. What could be better? The leaves are falling falling falling. We sweep and rake and blow and they recollect like nothing happened. It'll be sad when they're all done, the process is so beautiful. The blanketed ground and the floating floating colors.
Avalanche was so excited by the leaves every time the wind blew, yesterday. She would stare up with HUGE eyes and then dart around the yard, unable to pinpoint any to pounce so just running every which-way. Soooooo cute. This is her first real fall outside where she can run. She's overstimulated by crunchy leaves skipping down the roof toward her.
I'm so glad to be sitting here, sipping delicious brewed coffee at my desk. Josh wanted me to go to Hood River to visit a new cafe and then hike with him and hang out while he did some bouldering after the hike, but I had already had ideas of a day home full of going to the farmers market, taking down Halloween, housework, more window-washing, laundry, sweeping up the leaves and vacuuming, cleaning my completely destroyed bedroom, baking quiche and banana bread, donating more to the thrift store, I am trying to teach myself how to whiten dingy rags and things (I followed directions on some no eco-something cleaner that touted exactly this capability, and the rags literally look browner than when I started, so I'm experimenting with bleach now), piano practice, a bike ride in the sun, silks inside, and nursing this queasiness that hasn't gone away since the birthday brunch with Josh's mom, yesterday. I made the mistake of waaaay over-eating fish, Josh ordered a fish plate and I agreed to "help" and I know he doesn't like taking fish home as leftovers, so I tried really hard to finish it but I was already entirely full after half of the salad I bought, which had a thick creamy dressing that did not agree with me at all, but instead of listening to my own needs I tried to do what Josh wanted and ended up making myself very ill. Next time I will just take home the fish, it keeps just fine and I know that, he doesn't ever think fish will be good after being left for even five minutes outside of a fridge, his mom is like this, too. But that is incorrect, especially when you're at a high quality eatery.
Anyway. I wanted to support his needs today, "I can't go out on weekdays like you can," he kept whining. But my foot is a bit sore to be hiking hard, and I really dislike sitting around watching him rock climb, and having to think about the fact that I can't do it anymore because of my arthritic feet. It's really depressing and upsetting and while last night, I was willing to compromise in order to take care of him, because I love him, and because I worry about him bouldering alone, and he was so sad that none of his friends could go; this morning he was so cranky and rude to me, that all my ability to sacrifice for him just fizzled. (I think this was because I refused to let him sleep in my bed last night, but I was still nauseated and also I've been neglecting my own care for his for days so my room is in shambles and I don't feel comfortable having someone else in it when there is this much clutter everywhere. His eyesight is not good, especially in the dark, and he will step on stuff and trip and crash and it makes me worry that he'll hurt himself trying to navigate my messes.) Finally after packing and preparing for a while this morning I said, "I just don't think I should go," mostly because my nausea and headache from the fish over-eating hasn't gone away yet. (I so rarely eat meat anymore, and if so very small amounts, so my body is just freaking out.)
He accepted this answer graciously, which I wasn't sure would happen based on how cranky he was all morning, but he accepted my desire to practice piano and go to the farmers market and do housework, which he knows I struggle to do when he is home.
I am sooooooo grateful for a day in the house by myself. THIS NEVER HAPPENS. I am so happy.
Avalanche came inside to be near me, I think she can tell I am not feeling very good.
Will get dressed and head to the market in a little bit.
...
I gave myself my first B12 injection this morning. It was nerve-wracking but turned out to be super easy. The kit came with pre-assembled needles, the dose is actually only 1mg so half what I got the other two times. I didn't feel it. It went in easily. I think I might bump up the next dose to 2mg since I know that works for me, and do it once a week instead of half the amount 2x per week as recommended, just for a little less hassle.
I did this in my thigh instead of my arm as it's a much easier place to self-inject for an intramuscular injection.
Several minutes later, I noticed a gentle twitching in my thigh muscle. Nothing scary or that felt bad at all, but I felt it. I didn't remember feeling this in my arm so I googled: "Is thigh muscle twitching normal after a vitamin injection" and got this response (I did not mention what kind of vitamin in my query):
"Yes, it is common for muscles to twitch after certain vitamin injections, as this is often a benign reaction to the body adjusting to new nutrient levels or the physical stimulation of the injection site.
Nerve Repair and Adjustment: When correcting a Vitamin B12 deficiency, twitching is frequently reported as a sign of nerves healing or the body converting the vitamin to repair protective nerve layers."
This makes it sound like my poor leg is like, "omg FINALLY the stuff I need to repair, THANK YOU!" lol.
It could also be just a normal reaction to having a needle inserted, but either way it's harmless.
I feel SO incredibly lucky to have figured this B12 stuff out! AND that there just happens to be so much access to GLPs online right now, because the site where I got the B12 is a GLP1 website, which also offers vitamin support for people taking them. I asked my doctors for help and all they had to offer was to schedule an appointment "to talk about it" so I'm not wasting my time with that. They've already failed me enough.
The dose costs me about $16 each this way, instead of $30 or $40 having someone else inject me, plus whatever other appt charges they might have.
...
Geese just flew right overhead. Avalanche and I are enjoying their flight :)
...
Could not sleep last night to save my life, but, it is probably because I had way too much coffee yesterday. Was trying to fend off the headache and fatigue after the too-heavy fishy breakfast. Tonight will be better, and I can rest between chores.
...
New moon tonight. I'm supposed to go dance tonight at the club for a regular's birthday, and I can actually go because I set aside tomorrow as a work-from-home day yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
...
I think my incisions on my arm with the stitches are finally starting to heal, they are still red and sore but less so, one of them is almost not at all red anymore, yay.
...
Tyler's going to join me for Thanksgiving at Cynthia's since Josh decided to go hang out with his parents and their friends instead of coming with me to my step-family's stuff. I am still frustrated by this, I understand that he doesn't like their food or really their company very much, but it's embarrassing showing up without my spouse. But at least bringing Tyler to Cynthia's afterward can help salvage my holiday a bit. Having a backup husband is highly recommended. Just don't tell Tyler I called him that, lol.
...
It would be wonderful if I could allow myself the time to paint, at some point this week. There is no therapy this week due to Veteran's Day, that might help! Three hours of my life back.
I still haven't had my pumpkin beer ritual. Maybe that Wednesday would be a good time to paint and have a pumpkin beer. After my piano lesson? We'll see.
...
erf so tired. Maybe I'll skip the market, today. My desire to roast a chicken (mostly so that I can make bone broth from scratch) is pretty much gone after the fish incident yesterday. I don't think I'm going to want any animal products for a while. And I have a ton of veggies from visiting the People's farmers market on Wednesday, so I think I'm set for a bit. Looking forward to baking a sweet potato for myself and doing chores, and listening to my book.
Avalanche was so excited by the leaves every time the wind blew, yesterday. She would stare up with HUGE eyes and then dart around the yard, unable to pinpoint any to pounce so just running every which-way. Soooooo cute. This is her first real fall outside where she can run. She's overstimulated by crunchy leaves skipping down the roof toward her.
I'm so glad to be sitting here, sipping delicious brewed coffee at my desk. Josh wanted me to go to Hood River to visit a new cafe and then hike with him and hang out while he did some bouldering after the hike, but I had already had ideas of a day home full of going to the farmers market, taking down Halloween, housework, more window-washing, laundry, sweeping up the leaves and vacuuming, cleaning my completely destroyed bedroom, baking quiche and banana bread, donating more to the thrift store, I am trying to teach myself how to whiten dingy rags and things (I followed directions on some no eco-something cleaner that touted exactly this capability, and the rags literally look browner than when I started, so I'm experimenting with bleach now), piano practice, a bike ride in the sun, silks inside, and nursing this queasiness that hasn't gone away since the birthday brunch with Josh's mom, yesterday. I made the mistake of waaaay over-eating fish, Josh ordered a fish plate and I agreed to "help" and I know he doesn't like taking fish home as leftovers, so I tried really hard to finish it but I was already entirely full after half of the salad I bought, which had a thick creamy dressing that did not agree with me at all, but instead of listening to my own needs I tried to do what Josh wanted and ended up making myself very ill. Next time I will just take home the fish, it keeps just fine and I know that, he doesn't ever think fish will be good after being left for even five minutes outside of a fridge, his mom is like this, too. But that is incorrect, especially when you're at a high quality eatery.
Anyway. I wanted to support his needs today, "I can't go out on weekdays like you can," he kept whining. But my foot is a bit sore to be hiking hard, and I really dislike sitting around watching him rock climb, and having to think about the fact that I can't do it anymore because of my arthritic feet. It's really depressing and upsetting and while last night, I was willing to compromise in order to take care of him, because I love him, and because I worry about him bouldering alone, and he was so sad that none of his friends could go; this morning he was so cranky and rude to me, that all my ability to sacrifice for him just fizzled. (I think this was because I refused to let him sleep in my bed last night, but I was still nauseated and also I've been neglecting my own care for his for days so my room is in shambles and I don't feel comfortable having someone else in it when there is this much clutter everywhere. His eyesight is not good, especially in the dark, and he will step on stuff and trip and crash and it makes me worry that he'll hurt himself trying to navigate my messes.) Finally after packing and preparing for a while this morning I said, "I just don't think I should go," mostly because my nausea and headache from the fish over-eating hasn't gone away yet. (I so rarely eat meat anymore, and if so very small amounts, so my body is just freaking out.)
He accepted this answer graciously, which I wasn't sure would happen based on how cranky he was all morning, but he accepted my desire to practice piano and go to the farmers market and do housework, which he knows I struggle to do when he is home.
I am sooooooo grateful for a day in the house by myself. THIS NEVER HAPPENS. I am so happy.
Avalanche came inside to be near me, I think she can tell I am not feeling very good.
Will get dressed and head to the market in a little bit.
...
I gave myself my first B12 injection this morning. It was nerve-wracking but turned out to be super easy. The kit came with pre-assembled needles, the dose is actually only 1mg so half what I got the other two times. I didn't feel it. It went in easily. I think I might bump up the next dose to 2mg since I know that works for me, and do it once a week instead of half the amount 2x per week as recommended, just for a little less hassle.
I did this in my thigh instead of my arm as it's a much easier place to self-inject for an intramuscular injection.
Several minutes later, I noticed a gentle twitching in my thigh muscle. Nothing scary or that felt bad at all, but I felt it. I didn't remember feeling this in my arm so I googled: "Is thigh muscle twitching normal after a vitamin injection" and got this response (I did not mention what kind of vitamin in my query):
"Yes, it is common for muscles to twitch after certain vitamin injections, as this is often a benign reaction to the body adjusting to new nutrient levels or the physical stimulation of the injection site.
Nerve Repair and Adjustment: When correcting a Vitamin B12 deficiency, twitching is frequently reported as a sign of nerves healing or the body converting the vitamin to repair protective nerve layers."
This makes it sound like my poor leg is like, "omg FINALLY the stuff I need to repair, THANK YOU!" lol.
It could also be just a normal reaction to having a needle inserted, but either way it's harmless.
I feel SO incredibly lucky to have figured this B12 stuff out! AND that there just happens to be so much access to GLPs online right now, because the site where I got the B12 is a GLP1 website, which also offers vitamin support for people taking them. I asked my doctors for help and all they had to offer was to schedule an appointment "to talk about it" so I'm not wasting my time with that. They've already failed me enough.
The dose costs me about $16 each this way, instead of $30 or $40 having someone else inject me, plus whatever other appt charges they might have.
...
Geese just flew right overhead. Avalanche and I are enjoying their flight :)
...
Could not sleep last night to save my life, but, it is probably because I had way too much coffee yesterday. Was trying to fend off the headache and fatigue after the too-heavy fishy breakfast. Tonight will be better, and I can rest between chores.
...
New moon tonight. I'm supposed to go dance tonight at the club for a regular's birthday, and I can actually go because I set aside tomorrow as a work-from-home day yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
...
I think my incisions on my arm with the stitches are finally starting to heal, they are still red and sore but less so, one of them is almost not at all red anymore, yay.
...
Tyler's going to join me for Thanksgiving at Cynthia's since Josh decided to go hang out with his parents and their friends instead of coming with me to my step-family's stuff. I am still frustrated by this, I understand that he doesn't like their food or really their company very much, but it's embarrassing showing up without my spouse. But at least bringing Tyler to Cynthia's afterward can help salvage my holiday a bit. Having a backup husband is highly recommended. Just don't tell Tyler I called him that, lol.
...
It would be wonderful if I could allow myself the time to paint, at some point this week. There is no therapy this week due to Veteran's Day, that might help! Three hours of my life back.
I still haven't had my pumpkin beer ritual. Maybe that Wednesday would be a good time to paint and have a pumpkin beer. After my piano lesson? We'll see.
...
erf so tired. Maybe I'll skip the market, today. My desire to roast a chicken (mostly so that I can make bone broth from scratch) is pretty much gone after the fish incident yesterday. I don't think I'm going to want any animal products for a while. And I have a ton of veggies from visiting the People's farmers market on Wednesday, so I think I'm set for a bit. Looking forward to baking a sweet potato for myself and doing chores, and listening to my book.
