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future sparkles
Nov. 18th, 2020 10:37 pmfound the most beautiful concept for a stuffed butternut squash that i want to make for my step-family's gathering that Josh and I are not attending. I am a little vexed by their lack of distancing, but I know my step-dad, and he would literally rather die than miss a holiday with his kids and grandkids. (I really hope that doesn't end up happening. He's 80.) I'm making a point to swing by each family member separately with goodies, to wish them love and drop stuff off on their porches, fully masked. I researched food sharing and it is not a risky source of spread whatsoever, and I know how to handle food safely from my years as a server, so I will deliver pies and cookies and roasted vegetables, as usual, but at a distance, outside only, masked, safe. I also bought some silly/cute holiday face masks for some of them.
I have sacrificed so much of my life for so many months, and the stories of the carelessness around me is just staggering. We all get to suffer for it, and it's so unnecessary. I do not begrudge the people who need to work, and who skirt around some of the protocols because it's just too much for them to handle, I get that some people need to survive this way. but the wildly careless and reckless weddings and birthdays and indoor bars and restaurants just... I don't know how to control my rage, sometimes. I haven't seen my mom since March. She's in a memory care facility, we call weekly, I likely will never see her again. For her it might not make much difference, the last few months I visited she did not recognize me at all. In some ways it is a relief. But I still worry - my brother and I caught problems and noticed issues that her caretaker didn't always - we just know her differently, being her family, you know? she can't walk anymore, I can't bring her movies to watch or music to listen to, that part is the hardest. seeing the way she responded to music and musicals. It's so hard caring for people with dementia who can't communicate, mom's barely verbal at all at this point and nothing she says makes sense except for a few short sentences here and there, but ugh. it just hurts a lot. I'm so grateful that her caretaker is so caring and attentive, mom is very lucky and they adore each other. It's the best possible setup for a terrible situation. This is no small part of why to me, aging and death are simply horrific, and i fear and begrudge and deny and worry over them constantly.
Since there has not been any documented cases of covid being transmitted via hair services, I am actively preparing to return to work during the current lockdown, since Oregon is still allowing "personal services" to continue. It'll be nice to get back to sparkling, but also a hard adjustment. Nervous about how exhausting the protocols will be. I know my customers, so realistically, my original plan of booking 15 minute gaps between appts isn't going to work - they always stay longer chatting - it will have to be 30, and I will have to consciously prep myself to dismiss people every day before I start. I will have to have a written script to go over covid questions, I will have to be prepared for those who might not want to wash their hands or (god forbid) those who might remove their masks. I will have to be ready to dismiss people mid-service without collecting payment. it's going to be hard. but for the most part, i think, it will be worth it? will try, anyway.
really hoping the space I look at Sunday is workable, I am so hopeful but it might be too good to be true. I might go check out another studio in Sellwood on the same day, we'll see. I've never had to pay to work anything other than really large holiday craft fairs, before, and even then most of the time I paid for my table in trade. but sparkles for the holidays is too tempting to resist, I want to try. I miss my customers a lot. most of them are absolute jewels. they uplift and recharge and inspire me, I always learn from them, and receive so much joy from their support and kindness and endless appreciation. I love my work, I am so fortunate, I really hope I can figure out how to make it joyful and safe and workable.
I am so grateful too for my husband, and my brother, and my dearest friend - my little pod of the 4 of us. My poddlings. The best.
I have sacrificed so much of my life for so many months, and the stories of the carelessness around me is just staggering. We all get to suffer for it, and it's so unnecessary. I do not begrudge the people who need to work, and who skirt around some of the protocols because it's just too much for them to handle, I get that some people need to survive this way. but the wildly careless and reckless weddings and birthdays and indoor bars and restaurants just... I don't know how to control my rage, sometimes. I haven't seen my mom since March. She's in a memory care facility, we call weekly, I likely will never see her again. For her it might not make much difference, the last few months I visited she did not recognize me at all. In some ways it is a relief. But I still worry - my brother and I caught problems and noticed issues that her caretaker didn't always - we just know her differently, being her family, you know? she can't walk anymore, I can't bring her movies to watch or music to listen to, that part is the hardest. seeing the way she responded to music and musicals. It's so hard caring for people with dementia who can't communicate, mom's barely verbal at all at this point and nothing she says makes sense except for a few short sentences here and there, but ugh. it just hurts a lot. I'm so grateful that her caretaker is so caring and attentive, mom is very lucky and they adore each other. It's the best possible setup for a terrible situation. This is no small part of why to me, aging and death are simply horrific, and i fear and begrudge and deny and worry over them constantly.
Since there has not been any documented cases of covid being transmitted via hair services, I am actively preparing to return to work during the current lockdown, since Oregon is still allowing "personal services" to continue. It'll be nice to get back to sparkling, but also a hard adjustment. Nervous about how exhausting the protocols will be. I know my customers, so realistically, my original plan of booking 15 minute gaps between appts isn't going to work - they always stay longer chatting - it will have to be 30, and I will have to consciously prep myself to dismiss people every day before I start. I will have to have a written script to go over covid questions, I will have to be prepared for those who might not want to wash their hands or (god forbid) those who might remove their masks. I will have to be ready to dismiss people mid-service without collecting payment. it's going to be hard. but for the most part, i think, it will be worth it? will try, anyway.
really hoping the space I look at Sunday is workable, I am so hopeful but it might be too good to be true. I might go check out another studio in Sellwood on the same day, we'll see. I've never had to pay to work anything other than really large holiday craft fairs, before, and even then most of the time I paid for my table in trade. but sparkles for the holidays is too tempting to resist, I want to try. I miss my customers a lot. most of them are absolute jewels. they uplift and recharge and inspire me, I always learn from them, and receive so much joy from their support and kindness and endless appreciation. I love my work, I am so fortunate, I really hope I can figure out how to make it joyful and safe and workable.
I am so grateful too for my husband, and my brother, and my dearest friend - my little pod of the 4 of us. My poddlings. The best.
