spinning out a tiny bit

I'm so manic right now, trying to calm down, I'm driving Josh crazy, bouncing off the walls in my black and orange halloween leggings, ack. I got up at 8:30am and ran with him at Overlook Park, changed into my unicorn onesie and rode to the farmers market in the sunshine after. So ridiculous, so much fun. My friends at the market laughed in delight at my silliness. Winter Greens and Sweet Leaf were both missing so there wasn't much for me to purchase, but I still had fun. I'm wired on way toooooo muccch coffeeeeeeee oops.

Listening to my winter mix and trying to calm down. Texted everyone asking for hh zoom: cynthia, natasha, gregory, brandie, karissa, gwen, jasmine, margaret. I just need some connection. Am I becoming extroverted?!? How do I make it stop? I think tyler's mom texted me with a phone number I don't recognize, someone texted me offering me tyler photos and that's the only person I could think of, aside from maybe his brother but Ben doesn't text with abbreviations like that.

Still bleeding like crazy, is it a perimenopause thing to have heavier longer periods? Or is this just a result of finally going off birth control and getting all those synthetic hormones flushed from my system? How do I stop menopause? I don't want it, actually. It's going to cause bone loss and shit. I don't want to age. How to postpone indefinitely? plz k thx. A friend of mine I used to sparkle, her grandma ruby just died, at 110!!!!!! This lady was my inspiration and hope for my own longevity. Do want. I will see if I can make it that far. She lived independently her entire life, and only stopped driving at 106 I think?

trying to get my energy out with handstands lol

wild pandemic saturday night

So happy, such a beautiful day, I feel a bit guilty over all the joy I feel but I do, I am so fortunate and so grateful.

Josh left me alone in the apartment to go visit his parents and I am VERY TEMPTED to break out the vodka and make a cocktail. I have beautiful things like pure organic cranberry juice, fresh rosemary from the courtyard, lemons and limes for slicing and zesting, sea salt, even soda water.

Tempting, very tempting.

So many things I could do with my evening. Read a book, watch Fantastic Fungi, make rosemary popcorn, drink a beer or a cocktail, dance alone in my halloween leggings and grey knee sox, buy another unicorn onesie.

Exhausted and vaguely sweaty from a second much longer bike ride with my unicorn onesie. It needs augmentation though and I'm afraid I'm going to ruin it, hence the shopping for a second backup one.

None of my friends are available for zoom hh tonight and I'm bummed tf out. Maybe I'll text tyler.

(there was some drama today with matt and natasha that I don't want to get into. let's just say i'm frustrated and annoyed and worried and sad for her.)

sober dilemma

decided a bowl of popcorn with fresh chopped rosemary and coconut oil would be easier to recover from than vodka. i can always run off the carbs/grains but the vodka sinks into my brain and muscles in a special way that takes a long time to heal and disrupts my sleep. still kinda sad about it tho.

Fantastic Fungi was great! Maybe instead of trying to rescue my friend from her shitty boyfriend tomorrow I should go mushroom hunting.