![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ugh, so much to write. so tired.
had a really nice long conversation with my childhood best friend, she knew mom really well, i wanted to bounce some things off of her and she was so, so helpful. her mom died a couple of years ago, and she was like a second mom to me. it's hard. it's nice to have someone who understands so deeply. i'm so grateful that we reconnected at the wedding. weddings are good.
going through hymns for mom's cremation Monday. I think I might just bring a handful of them (we only have 15 minutes) and might play one or two, we can sing or not, I can think about bringing sheet lyrics or not. Chaplain Craig suggested hymns since she was such a musical person, it makes sense. I found the iphone at the studio and grabbed the little bluetooth speaker, so we can do that if we want, it can just be literally in my pocket.
drinking. probably shouldn't be. going to go back to vampy show and more tissue paper flowers. I made josh all the foods for his birthday. the most spectacular curry tonight, i actually ate dinner for once, it was so tasty. golden beets, red daikon (it's really fuchsia), carrots, shitake mushrooms, onion, shallot, kale, scallions, arugula, halved grape tomatoes, tofu, green curry paste simmered with coconut milk, jasmine rice on the side, omg yum. roasted an acorn squash also. made josh a pear crisp to go with the rosemary shortbread cookies and pumpkin pie for his birthday. he's all happy.
sparkled two people. it was good to get on my bike and get out of the apartment. it was good to connect with kind, beautiful people and touch their hair. so important. the little things are everything. everything.
my eyes hurt from crying.
diving back into my old christian roots for mom's service and stuff. it's intense. it's been so long that i've rejected my childhood religion, but those binds are strong. and also, i realize as i listen to these hymns, they are the same as my own faith, it's just that they use funny words like "lord" and "jesus" for the universal divinity of existence that connects us all. letting go of whatever stories behind the words are fabricated, it's all the same thing. it's all the same worship and divinity and grace and peace. the words don't matter. the awareness, the being-ness behind them does. it's all oneness.
there are some astonishingly pretty versions of some of these hymns that make me weep.
same song, different take:
so pretty:
mom's all time favorite christmas hymn:
had a really nice long conversation with my childhood best friend, she knew mom really well, i wanted to bounce some things off of her and she was so, so helpful. her mom died a couple of years ago, and she was like a second mom to me. it's hard. it's nice to have someone who understands so deeply. i'm so grateful that we reconnected at the wedding. weddings are good.
going through hymns for mom's cremation Monday. I think I might just bring a handful of them (we only have 15 minutes) and might play one or two, we can sing or not, I can think about bringing sheet lyrics or not. Chaplain Craig suggested hymns since she was such a musical person, it makes sense. I found the iphone at the studio and grabbed the little bluetooth speaker, so we can do that if we want, it can just be literally in my pocket.
drinking. probably shouldn't be. going to go back to vampy show and more tissue paper flowers. I made josh all the foods for his birthday. the most spectacular curry tonight, i actually ate dinner for once, it was so tasty. golden beets, red daikon (it's really fuchsia), carrots, shitake mushrooms, onion, shallot, kale, scallions, arugula, halved grape tomatoes, tofu, green curry paste simmered with coconut milk, jasmine rice on the side, omg yum. roasted an acorn squash also. made josh a pear crisp to go with the rosemary shortbread cookies and pumpkin pie for his birthday. he's all happy.
sparkled two people. it was good to get on my bike and get out of the apartment. it was good to connect with kind, beautiful people and touch their hair. so important. the little things are everything. everything.
my eyes hurt from crying.
diving back into my old christian roots for mom's service and stuff. it's intense. it's been so long that i've rejected my childhood religion, but those binds are strong. and also, i realize as i listen to these hymns, they are the same as my own faith, it's just that they use funny words like "lord" and "jesus" for the universal divinity of existence that connects us all. letting go of whatever stories behind the words are fabricated, it's all the same thing. it's all the same worship and divinity and grace and peace. the words don't matter. the awareness, the being-ness behind them does. it's all oneness.
there are some astonishingly pretty versions of some of these hymns that make me weep.
same song, different take:
so pretty:
mom's all time favorite christmas hymn:
