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elder neglect.
Mar. 31st, 2021 01:20 pmfeeling a little better this morning. cried and cried and cried all last night and did not sleep much. until i'd cried myself to exhaustion. an acquaintance lost his doggo best friend recently and it triggered my loss of p-funk, my extremely deeply emotionally bonded 20yo cat who died very traumatically at the hands of some very, very poorly behaved veterinarians who completely failed him in every possible way (and charged me a grand for the torture they put him through. assholes). P-Funk and I had an incredibly wonderful several years together, but when a death is traumatic, it tends to obscure all of the good memories and leave this incredible wake of pain that never stops. Getting Darwin and making entirely sure his transition was gentle and peaceful was all about healing from that trauma with P-Funk, and it did help a lot, but I still can't think of P-Funk without feeling exquisite amounts of pain, and I am furious over it, still, that I can't just enjoy my memories of him, and us, and all those wonderful moments. I can, still, enjoy them, but it's always, always mixed with pain and regret.
ugh and now I'm crying again.
it'll be this way with mom, too, but that's more because of the dementia years than her actual death itself. her death was not nearly so traumatic as the torment of her disease. and the utter lack of support she needed. the support *we* needed. to get her proper diagnoses and treatments. she had nothing, just nothing, for the disease itself. it's not okay.
Oregon has a horrific track record of caring for its elders. half of the covid deaths in Oregon have been elders in long term care facilities. that's compared to 1/3rd for the rest of the country, which is still abhorrent and disgusting.
printed a document for finley, he'll pick it up in about 10 minutes, maybe i should actually shower. i feel like hell. the sunshine is helping, though. i want to pay for the bench and go sit in the park for a bit with some coffee and read, i think. get some groceries on the way back. work on wings and zoom later. work will be slammed thurs/friday and i don't get unemployment this week, again, but what can you do.
eh, the shower can wait, i will just be gross. could put some clean clothes on maybe. i'll try that.
ugh and now I'm crying again.
it'll be this way with mom, too, but that's more because of the dementia years than her actual death itself. her death was not nearly so traumatic as the torment of her disease. and the utter lack of support she needed. the support *we* needed. to get her proper diagnoses and treatments. she had nothing, just nothing, for the disease itself. it's not okay.
Oregon has a horrific track record of caring for its elders. half of the covid deaths in Oregon have been elders in long term care facilities. that's compared to 1/3rd for the rest of the country, which is still abhorrent and disgusting.
printed a document for finley, he'll pick it up in about 10 minutes, maybe i should actually shower. i feel like hell. the sunshine is helping, though. i want to pay for the bench and go sit in the park for a bit with some coffee and read, i think. get some groceries on the way back. work on wings and zoom later. work will be slammed thurs/friday and i don't get unemployment this week, again, but what can you do.
eh, the shower can wait, i will just be gross. could put some clean clothes on maybe. i'll try that.
