sometimes the tears are of anger. over human greed, waste, and cruelty.

i hate what humans have become. no babies no garbage. i will not continue to contribute to the terror on this planet inflicted by this disgusting species. we have individuals who are not horrific but not enough to defend the whole. not enough to justify what they've done to their world.

moar coffee plz

feeling a bit rough around the edges, today. I've really let the kitchen go the last couple of days, so I got all set up to clean only to discover that our hot water is off. again. with no warning. erf.

need to head to the farmers market and then do some checks and adult things. I *really* need to update my website. This month is trickier than I expected. Sigh.

Looking forward to May. Easter without mom is going to be really difficult. Last year was easier because everything was cancelled, we were so high on covid alert we didn't really get a chance to miss the holiday. It didn't even cross my mind to color any eggs...

My entry got interrupted. Needs moar coffeeeeeeeeeee lol

no more easter tree

all of the ornaments are off the tree and safely wrapped up in their tissue in their boxes. i am so going to eat all the saltine crackers when this is done. with butter and fresh chopped rosemary.

got a giant bouquet of daffodils so we have something cheery when the tree is no longer lighting up our diningroom lol <3

hurts too much.

was a million times harder going through mom's things than it was taking down the tree - tree was easy. mom's things have been sitting in a pile next to my desk since I cleaned out her room in January. I am not done, but things are slightly better organized. I realized that I have no intention of boxing everything up and putting it in the garage, her books and letters and photos and knickknacks need to stay here next to me for the time being. But I can put away the stuffies and the other photos that weren't hers that I still have out. I'll put them away tomorrow. All that is left tonight is to take out one run of trash and recycling, and then I can have my chocolate, vampire show, and rosemary crackers.

my head feels like it's going to explode. the painful kind of tears, tonight. i came across a letter mom wrote to me probably around about 2012, I don't know. my poor mom. it's so wrong, everything that happened to her. i don't understand how life can be that cruel.