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spooky celebrations
Oct. 29th, 2021 09:15 amhad such a lovely time at shadowplay. i love the absolute absence of pretence the most. no right or wrong way to dance or look or be. every time anyone compliments my appearance i'm floating on clouds for a while, a long while. Ash was the gentlest. i probably told him too much. i had "spooky drink" - a tequila cocktail, an IPA, and a black bread (rye) and cheese sandwich with black (blue) chips. omg yummerz. i'm eating all of the chocolate now and I don't care. I have been thinking about Finley and how disconnected I feel from him. I have no idea who he is, he clearly has no idea who I am if he's ever surprised that i'm 45 minutes late for something (during my self-proclaimed "busiest week of the year" which I warned him about). How disconnected I feel from Josh. How deeply connected to the universe I feel within myself. maybe this is just this stage of life, i dunno.
my arms are too muscular, I feel like a freak of nature, why do they look like that, all veins and tension.
Ash said when he saw me, "are you wearing platforms? I thought there was something elevated about you." it's a poetic way to put it. he's a musician and such a gentle soul.
the bouncer loved my eyeliner. yay new friends!
derek (the dj, who changed his handle to dj crankenstein which threw me off when i realized it at some point earlier this year because i knew him by his previous dj name corrosion for so long) was kind and chatty and supportive, "I'm so glad you're out!"
why is everyone so wonderful.
...
I forgot to post this entry last night, so grateful dw auto-saves drafts, it's sweet and i'm glad it got kept. I'm somehow magically not hungover? I came home from Shadowplay and pounded an Elysian Night Owl pumpkin ale and ate all the Halloween chocolate in the house and passed out in my tiny red dress on the couch with the cat. who now smells like my perversion perfume. I feel wonderful??? lol.
(It took me like half an hour to find my dress tape for this thing, it has to be taped on. There is such a thing as dress tape! Just for naughty dresses like this! It is magic!)
Favorite music of the night included Front Line Assembly and this thing:
my arms are too muscular, I feel like a freak of nature, why do they look like that, all veins and tension.
Ash said when he saw me, "are you wearing platforms? I thought there was something elevated about you." it's a poetic way to put it. he's a musician and such a gentle soul.
the bouncer loved my eyeliner. yay new friends!
derek (the dj, who changed his handle to dj crankenstein which threw me off when i realized it at some point earlier this year because i knew him by his previous dj name corrosion for so long) was kind and chatty and supportive, "I'm so glad you're out!"
why is everyone so wonderful.
...
I forgot to post this entry last night, so grateful dw auto-saves drafts, it's sweet and i'm glad it got kept. I'm somehow magically not hungover? I came home from Shadowplay and pounded an Elysian Night Owl pumpkin ale and ate all the Halloween chocolate in the house and passed out in my tiny red dress on the couch with the cat. who now smells like my perversion perfume. I feel wonderful??? lol.
(It took me like half an hour to find my dress tape for this thing, it has to be taped on. There is such a thing as dress tape! Just for naughty dresses like this! It is magic!)
Favorite music of the night included Front Line Assembly and this thing:
