wild and precious.

I have said goodbye to the stones at Calanais.
I likely shall not stand beside them again in this life.
But they will always sing
in the wind that blows through my heart.
I shall not touch the skirts of the Merry Maidens again
in this turn of life's wheel. The herd of cattle
that graze in their circle likely will be gone
long before I find a form in which to return.
There are people dear to me
that I shall never see again
with these eyes and hold in these arms
but I shall meet them again in some form
in the distant days to come.
If I go out and look up tonight,
I will likely see bright light that has come
from now long dead stars.
I may not know where or when
I shall travel past life's gate,
but I know it swings both ways
and those who love
have a wide multiverse
in which to meet again.
If I have hated any,
let us both be healed
when we meet again,
and may I tend my own heart
as if it were a garden and grow
only the seeds of love.
None of us know
if a tomorrow on earth will be ours --
even mountains wear down
and stones grind into sand.
So let us meet and touch every being
with gentle, kindly hands
and leave nothing broken
where we have passed.
These hopes may be impossible to realize,
might they not?
But how would life be now if we try
to make them come true?

Jessica Macbeth ~ 11-14-2021

snow dragon

Been inundated with dragon energy, lately, loving every moment of it. I've always had a thing for dragons. I am one, in a sense. But my hoarding is for sensations, largely in the form of physical interaction with human males. I joke about my "hoard of boys" but it's srsly a real impulse that I cannot control and that fuels my fire for existence, lol. Anyway, here's a sweet and gentle one. they come in all types from fierce to fragile, just like faeries. just like us.



might get our first frost, tonight. it's exciting for me now that I've learned to x-country ski by myself on the mountain - soon there will be glorious snow-filled days of bliss.

(Thanks, Tyler. Who gifted me the skis and all the trips in the snow and the lessons in backcountry survival in the first place.)

mixed up priorities

sort of frittered away today but that's okay, i tried to be productive but it doesn't always work out that way.

so much to do tomorrow! i want to run awaaaaay.

very much need to get out TONS of sparkle orders, meep, AND get all of my holiday product photos done and new listings UP. NOW, MUST happen.

But I also want to run off to Corvallis with Tyler and sparkle his mom.

Or run up Dog Mountain.

Or just go soak and maximum relax.

Need to schedule my MRI which I finally got approved for, for this fucked up shoulder that's been hurting me since 2014. YAY. Must schedule.

Must check in about my skates again. I'm worried they just will refuse to fix them for me, sigh.

I want to order another pair, as a backup, so I'm never without ice skates again, but not if they come with the same shitty lace hooks, ack. These for sure fit my feet, any other boot maker I go with will cost hundreds more and still might not fit right. But a good fit does me no good if the lace hooks break on me. sigh. first world problems. Why did I have to fall in love with a sport that has such expensive, complicated equipment. that was dumb. Should have just done ballet, all they have is slippers. Well, and wooden floors.

I'm trying not to eat after 10pm but I'm soooooo snacky snack attax ack lol. I WANT POPCORN. It's actually quiet hours so I can't pop popcorn anyway. Should just settle for tea and be happy. I can have popcorn tomorrow.

I also need to do my loan forgiveness application tomorrow, NEED.

Maybe get in a run. We're doing a race thing on Saturday like a couple of crazy people. I've never ran an official race type event before. We're not going to run for time, I'm just going to see if I even CAN run a race. I'm nervous.

It'll be nice to be at the coast though, I can look for magic mushrooms in the dunes when we're done.

I have full looooong work days booked Thursday and Friday, Thursday is Kizomba/Shadowplay night and Friday night we pack for Astoria. So I have no time to do anything but work, dance, and pack after tomorrow. If I'm going to get quiche and pie made, it has to happen tomorrow.

Probably should not run away to Corvallis with my favorite dragon tomorrow, then.

But like, don't tempt me.

lol I'm hopeless.

Look at this perfect lil magic moon cat, my lil Lunar buddy - the Halloween table has become his favorite spot so I'm not taking it down lol, just removed the candy bowl. (Still working on the chocolate however, ha.)