contentedness momentarily

i made fresh whipped cream with mushroom honey and vanilla and everything is okay now.

i ran. zoom. max hr 176 today - i know i can go higher but for a 48yo this is pretty great. i worked hard. my foot feels fine, thankfully - grateful for soft barkdust trails.

i got super hungry after running and scarfed the last of josh's coleslaw and then put my veggie (cabbage/potato/carrot so similar ingredients) soup in the same bowl and the two flavors were surprisingly wonderful together.

omg this coffee is amazing.

i can't wait to finish cleaning and decorate. as soon as i digest oof, i ate too much too fast whoops.

i am down to 128lbs and holding. let's see if i can do 127 this week. if i can do that, then 126 the following, i'll be on track for 125lbs for halloween which is what i want. but if this is the best i can do this is actually fine, too. i would prefer more lightness but this is okay. (finley still seems to like it. whereas he does not appear to prefer 132 - though he would never say so, i can tell, and to be fair, i don't like it either and it could be that he's just responding to my own energy around disliking my body at that weight.) just a little bit more hunger here and there should do it. i'm actually quite comfortable with the amount i've been eating lately. upping my protein intake really helps. and having homemade healthy pies at home so i'm not tempted to buy pastries or wraps when i'm out.

i did get a bag of boo chips, because, boo chips. (i haven't opened them yet, will probably save them for halloween proper - movie night?)

the heat is on, we've been having heat in the afternoons thankfully, but i have a feeling tonight is going to be very chilly.

but then tomorrow will push 80 for the high so i'll live. (still in the 50s at night, though - i can sleep in high 50s just fine though, it's the low-50s that shut me down - i end up buried in sweaters and blankets and very still and unable to function.)

i shrank my cotton hoodie in the dryer, i thought i'd washed it enough that this wouldn't happen? kinda sad about it whoops. will just have to get another big hoodie lol. (I live in my oversized hoodie in the apartment when I'm working from home.) it was a hand-me-down so not the end of the world, just, weird that it took a year to happen? I've washed it so many times! I guess the dryer was just extra hot or something?

mmmm warm and full and caffeinated and the sun is threatening to break through the clouds (it did once), this is so niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

just be kind.

ugh just had a really crappy phone call with the maintenance dude at our complex, that suuuuuuuuuuuuucked.

gotta get my halloween decor and start mopping. my tummy is angry from the stress of arguing and i'm not sure if it's hunger or what. i'm out of chocolate noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo lol.

cacao nibs and whipped cream might have to suffice, but not at the moment - i don't want to stress eat just because someone was a dick to me.

no reason for that.

so stupid.

it'll pass it'll pass it'll pass. i should not have answered the call, i won't do that again. i specifically said to email or text me, THIS IS WHY.

I hate this apartment complex so much. So tired of the random mistreatment, there's no excuse for that. Why can't people just be kind.

..........

Edited to add: someone just posted a video of someone smoking fentanyl outside their apartment window in this complex, as if I needed more reasons to hate it here.

modulate like whoah

holy shit the heat is on.

it's 62 degrees. the rumor is it comes on at 59 degrees. it's been colder than that every other night and it didn't come on.

i don't think this is a coincidence. i think it was broken and someone fixed it because i threw a fit.

but they'll never admit that.

it really doesn't matter.

I'm just sad I won't be here to enjoy it, I have to go do silks lol.

of course.

whatever just gunna be grateful for clean floors and a warm bedroom tonight.

I can't move without the song Bass Alert by Modulate cranked up to help me, ha.

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