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sparkling woes
May. 30th, 2024 08:29 amCame here to put down something important, but it's already fluttered out of my brain. That's okay.
I doubled-down on comfort food yesterday, and went to Salt and Straw and got a split scoop of apple pie and spinach cake tahini ice cream - these were both shockingly tasty. Walked around in the sunshine while I ate it. Had a red bean Ahn Pan (a Japanese bakery) on the drive home from the grocery store at 6pm, and didn't eat anything else for the rest of the night. Both were incredibly delicious and I felt full and satisfied and didn't have a single regret. I know all the science says that spiking blood sugar like that is bad for us but omg it felt wonderful last night.
I'm processing the news that I have a bone spur growing on the big toe joint of my left foot and that this pain is not going to go away. I'm waiting for a referral to get a custom orthotic, which will "help," but not actually fix anything. This is a temporary solution. Meanwhile i will go get some higher-arched supports and try to take it easy - gentle dancing for a while. I do not want to give up running or hiking but I might just have to do less and go slower and gentler.
Maybe I need to move the coast so that I can run barefoot in the sand, ha.
My entire life kinda collapsed yesterday so I have all of my laundry strewn all over my room, since I was going to do 4 loads yesterday (having let it go too long, as usual) but stopped at one after falling down on the stairs and having the first load fall on me. I haven't showered in a week? I will do that this morning before work. A new customer is complaining and asking for free sparkles to replace the ones that fell out from two weeks ago, I explained that sparkles aren't guaranteed and lots of people have zero sparkles after the amount of time she has waited to complain about it, and I offered some compromises (a discount being one of them). I want to provide good service and to be kind, but also not to be taken advantage of. Service work is tricky this way. I'm pretty sure I gave this person twice the sparkles she paid for, which is always my mistake because then of course twice as many fall out and they think something is wrong. Over-giving is something I need to keep working on in therapy, obviously.
This is really nice timing though, because I have a high-maintenance energy-draining customer right before my lunch break today, and without this shock to my system, I would have let her push me to sparkle into my lunch break - but today I will not. I will give her what she paid for and not extra. (I'm also just in too much physical pain to not take a proper break, today.)
Barely played with Avalanche this morning, she's entertaining herself, poor sweetheart. NPR had this episode about how pets have the most miserable lives of all animals in the entire animal kingdom and I keep thinking about how bored she must be most of the time. I've always had a sneaking suspicion that pets are miserable, which is why I always rescued elderly street cats, who are less so, once they are with me. I will go back to that after Avalanche. I see how much of a thrill she gets just from walking on her leash outside - yesterday I wasn't paying enough attention and she got a bumblebee which is the last thing I ever want to happen - but at least she didn't get stung. Poor bee. Anyway. I've been trying to make her life less miserable as much as I possibly can, it gets hard when my own life feels like it's falling apart. I should get her breakfast and take a shower.
I'll be okay, I have a good life. I like our little apartment with no dishwasher and only cold water coin-op laundry in the basement down slippery scary stairs. I am okay with a quietly insensitive husband who loves me in his way. I am not getting shelled in Rafah. My hands are beat up and my toe is pink and purple, but I am content with this, today.
I doubled-down on comfort food yesterday, and went to Salt and Straw and got a split scoop of apple pie and spinach cake tahini ice cream - these were both shockingly tasty. Walked around in the sunshine while I ate it. Had a red bean Ahn Pan (a Japanese bakery) on the drive home from the grocery store at 6pm, and didn't eat anything else for the rest of the night. Both were incredibly delicious and I felt full and satisfied and didn't have a single regret. I know all the science says that spiking blood sugar like that is bad for us but omg it felt wonderful last night.
I'm processing the news that I have a bone spur growing on the big toe joint of my left foot and that this pain is not going to go away. I'm waiting for a referral to get a custom orthotic, which will "help," but not actually fix anything. This is a temporary solution. Meanwhile i will go get some higher-arched supports and try to take it easy - gentle dancing for a while. I do not want to give up running or hiking but I might just have to do less and go slower and gentler.
Maybe I need to move the coast so that I can run barefoot in the sand, ha.
My entire life kinda collapsed yesterday so I have all of my laundry strewn all over my room, since I was going to do 4 loads yesterday (having let it go too long, as usual) but stopped at one after falling down on the stairs and having the first load fall on me. I haven't showered in a week? I will do that this morning before work. A new customer is complaining and asking for free sparkles to replace the ones that fell out from two weeks ago, I explained that sparkles aren't guaranteed and lots of people have zero sparkles after the amount of time she has waited to complain about it, and I offered some compromises (a discount being one of them). I want to provide good service and to be kind, but also not to be taken advantage of. Service work is tricky this way. I'm pretty sure I gave this person twice the sparkles she paid for, which is always my mistake because then of course twice as many fall out and they think something is wrong. Over-giving is something I need to keep working on in therapy, obviously.
This is really nice timing though, because I have a high-maintenance energy-draining customer right before my lunch break today, and without this shock to my system, I would have let her push me to sparkle into my lunch break - but today I will not. I will give her what she paid for and not extra. (I'm also just in too much physical pain to not take a proper break, today.)
Barely played with Avalanche this morning, she's entertaining herself, poor sweetheart. NPR had this episode about how pets have the most miserable lives of all animals in the entire animal kingdom and I keep thinking about how bored she must be most of the time. I've always had a sneaking suspicion that pets are miserable, which is why I always rescued elderly street cats, who are less so, once they are with me. I will go back to that after Avalanche. I see how much of a thrill she gets just from walking on her leash outside - yesterday I wasn't paying enough attention and she got a bumblebee which is the last thing I ever want to happen - but at least she didn't get stung. Poor bee. Anyway. I've been trying to make her life less miserable as much as I possibly can, it gets hard when my own life feels like it's falling apart. I should get her breakfast and take a shower.
I'll be okay, I have a good life. I like our little apartment with no dishwasher and only cold water coin-op laundry in the basement down slippery scary stairs. I am okay with a quietly insensitive husband who loves me in his way. I am not getting shelled in Rafah. My hands are beat up and my toe is pink and purple, but I am content with this, today.
