heartache and pumpkin pie.
Nov. 3rd, 2024 11:37 amtrying to get myself out the door to get some outside time and exercise, it'll be really good for my mood.
baked a beautiful pumpkin pie, this one is on the medicinal side, no inflammatory ingredients, aside from a couple tablespoons of honey for the entire thing, so very low sugar content for a very large pie made from 1.5 roasted buttercup and sunshine kabocha pumpkins. Those sunshines are the sweetest they've ever been, this year, for some reason.
also got the bone broth done and the kitchen cleaned, aside from the floors, which can wait. They're all leafy lol.
The thing that is hurting my heart the most right now - this constant struggle for genuine connection with friends. I cannot help but think, as I struggle to reach out and connect with those I care about, and they continually blow me off - that while everyone thinks they are protected by their family and spouses, there might come a day when things get really hard, and they might be really sad that they didn't let your friends love them before they suddenly needed help with something.
(I am witnessing a friend go through this, who has isolated and made it very hard to stay connected to her, now she is suddenly begging for money for unexpected cat vet expenses. Maybe be here for us, if you are going to need us to be there for you. But she is young yet, she still has time to figure it out. Unlike my friends who are all in their 40s and getting harder to stay in touch with every day. Yes, your parents will die and leave you with a house and a retirement bundle, but you might still get sick, you still might need able bodied, loving, helping hands, you might get lonely, one day.)
I keep wondering if relocating is my answer. Maybe there are places where people understand that friendship is just as important as family, sometimes moreso.
baked a beautiful pumpkin pie, this one is on the medicinal side, no inflammatory ingredients, aside from a couple tablespoons of honey for the entire thing, so very low sugar content for a very large pie made from 1.5 roasted buttercup and sunshine kabocha pumpkins. Those sunshines are the sweetest they've ever been, this year, for some reason.
also got the bone broth done and the kitchen cleaned, aside from the floors, which can wait. They're all leafy lol.
The thing that is hurting my heart the most right now - this constant struggle for genuine connection with friends. I cannot help but think, as I struggle to reach out and connect with those I care about, and they continually blow me off - that while everyone thinks they are protected by their family and spouses, there might come a day when things get really hard, and they might be really sad that they didn't let your friends love them before they suddenly needed help with something.
(I am witnessing a friend go through this, who has isolated and made it very hard to stay connected to her, now she is suddenly begging for money for unexpected cat vet expenses. Maybe be here for us, if you are going to need us to be there for you. But she is young yet, she still has time to figure it out. Unlike my friends who are all in their 40s and getting harder to stay in touch with every day. Yes, your parents will die and leave you with a house and a retirement bundle, but you might still get sick, you still might need able bodied, loving, helping hands, you might get lonely, one day.)
I keep wondering if relocating is my answer. Maybe there are places where people understand that friendship is just as important as family, sometimes moreso.