acceptance.
Apr. 8th, 2021 10:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serafaeryhave coffee. calming down from the stress of vaccine hunting. what a bunch of bullshit. (I couldn't find any.)
was going to ski today but the sunshine is so nice, i think i'll just stay here and bike up to rocky butte again. maybe go for a run in the park and sit on the bench. i feel listless and horrible. but not for any good reason other than i can't skate or dance or do silks and am not loved by the person who was most important to me to feel loved by and my parents are dead and my work is terrifying to do without being vaccinated and i make a third of what i used to doing it. but those were all frosting, having those things. i still have an extremely loving husband and food and shelter and my brother. my base life is still amazing. i have no right to be sad. i hate myself for feeling this way and just walking through life in this zombie haze of grief and despair.
it'll pass. eventually. i guess.
was going to ski today but the sunshine is so nice, i think i'll just stay here and bike up to rocky butte again. maybe go for a run in the park and sit on the bench. i feel listless and horrible. but not for any good reason other than i can't skate or dance or do silks and am not loved by the person who was most important to me to feel loved by and my parents are dead and my work is terrifying to do without being vaccinated and i make a third of what i used to doing it. but those were all frosting, having those things. i still have an extremely loving husband and food and shelter and my brother. my base life is still amazing. i have no right to be sad. i hate myself for feeling this way and just walking through life in this zombie haze of grief and despair.
it'll pass. eventually. i guess.
