On meditation
May. 30th, 2021 12:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serafaeryThis sux.
We have a 12 hr drive tomorrow, it’s 1am, and I can’t sleep. I want to meditate, but it occurred to me on a hike today (up “the M” trail in Bozeman, Montana), that mindfulness practice is nothing but an exercise in drowning ones personhood into oblivion so that everyone around me can live more loudly and streamroll me into giving them what they want, full consideration for their feelings and desires, full forgiveness for their failings and full support of their imperfect humanity, in the absence of any of my own. Erasing myself, letting go of everything that’s important to me, to who I am, to who I want to be, for the sake of others’ comfort and well being.
What about my well being.
We have a 12 hr drive tomorrow, it’s 1am, and I can’t sleep. I want to meditate, but it occurred to me on a hike today (up “the M” trail in Bozeman, Montana), that mindfulness practice is nothing but an exercise in drowning ones personhood into oblivion so that everyone around me can live more loudly and streamroll me into giving them what they want, full consideration for their feelings and desires, full forgiveness for their failings and full support of their imperfect humanity, in the absence of any of my own. Erasing myself, letting go of everything that’s important to me, to who I am, to who I want to be, for the sake of others’ comfort and well being.
What about my well being.
