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OH MY GOD there is a twelve step program for my thing that I do holy crap.

Underearners Anonymous - symptoms of under-earning

The only symptoms here that don't apply to me are creating conflict, isolation, and compulsive need to prove - I have ALL of the others, ESPECIALLY hitting home for me at the moment is the clinging to threadbare clothing and broken appliances, shit.

(Someone just mentioned this as an aside during an online al-anon meeting I attended on zoomz today - al-anon is for families of alcoholics, I joined when my mom disowned me in 2010ish, as she drank herself into oblivion.

Today's meeting was focused on self-care. I am going to try to attend this meeting regularly. I only got 15 minutes of it because it started at noon CENTRAL time, not my time zone, oops.

People shared about self-acceptance and choosing/deciding "just for today" to be happy, which are tools I'd forgotten about and really needed to hear. Even that 15 minutes was really helpful. It's also always helpful to hear people struggle in basic, stupid ways, and to be honest about it - because even though their struggles are not mine, I struggle in other embarrassing, stupid, basic ways and it makes me feel less alone to know I'm not the only one that makes such unhealthy pointless mistakes on a daily basis.)

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