candles for remembrance.
Nov. 1st, 2021 10:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serafaeryLit candles for so many loved ones, tonight. used up all the tealights, ha. one can be amused about this.
Mom
Dad
Grandma and grandpa (I never met the ones on my dad's side, they were dead before I was born, so I honor my mom's parents, the ones I knew, though never very well)
Grandma Rodway, my step-dad's mom, whom I never gave enough credit or spent enough time with.
Delores, my skating coach and the one who turned me into at least a semi-decent human, teaching me politeness, discipline, respectfulness, posture, grace (well, she tried).
Madoc.
Molly, dad's second wife. She asked.
Laurie Flora, my best friend's mom growing up, the one who taught us how to carve pumpkins and roast pumpkin seeds, the one who went all out with the most creative handmade costumes, the one who made Halloween complete magic, the one who always fed and comforted me when my mom couldn't.
and so many pets are running around leaving ghostly paw prints all over my heart, tonight.
Darwin, my little old man cat
P-Funk, my beloved street kitten who lived to be 20
Willow, who slept on my chest every night
Newcat, who taught me how to love an animal with complete purity
Boo-boo, my doggo from age 6-22, my best friend, my everything, who slept curled under the covers with me in that perfect little crescent against my center, a feeling nobody else can replicate
I put out cat treats for the animals (Boo would also love these) and pumpkin spice madeleines for everyone else, they are sugary and perfect.
It's important to honor the loss and remember and celebrate what they gave me, but it's also so sad. trying to soothe with some soft piano. I should have taken a bath tonight but it's too late now, I'm in a not small amount of physical pain, but not unbearable.
The veil is thin and my heart is heavy but with so much goodness that I was able to experience in this life. I've been wearing my "grateful" shirt all day, the one I bought after picking up my mom's ashes. I'm so grateful for my friends, and my husband, my cat, my step-family that is still here, this precious, painful, fleeting little life filled with more beauty and wonder than I can ever hold in my little hurting heart.
Mom
Dad
Grandma and grandpa (I never met the ones on my dad's side, they were dead before I was born, so I honor my mom's parents, the ones I knew, though never very well)
Grandma Rodway, my step-dad's mom, whom I never gave enough credit or spent enough time with.
Delores, my skating coach and the one who turned me into at least a semi-decent human, teaching me politeness, discipline, respectfulness, posture, grace (well, she tried).
Madoc.
Molly, dad's second wife. She asked.
Laurie Flora, my best friend's mom growing up, the one who taught us how to carve pumpkins and roast pumpkin seeds, the one who went all out with the most creative handmade costumes, the one who made Halloween complete magic, the one who always fed and comforted me when my mom couldn't.
and so many pets are running around leaving ghostly paw prints all over my heart, tonight.
Darwin, my little old man cat
P-Funk, my beloved street kitten who lived to be 20
Willow, who slept on my chest every night
Newcat, who taught me how to love an animal with complete purity
Boo-boo, my doggo from age 6-22, my best friend, my everything, who slept curled under the covers with me in that perfect little crescent against my center, a feeling nobody else can replicate
I put out cat treats for the animals (Boo would also love these) and pumpkin spice madeleines for everyone else, they are sugary and perfect.
It's important to honor the loss and remember and celebrate what they gave me, but it's also so sad. trying to soothe with some soft piano. I should have taken a bath tonight but it's too late now, I'm in a not small amount of physical pain, but not unbearable.
The veil is thin and my heart is heavy but with so much goodness that I was able to experience in this life. I've been wearing my "grateful" shirt all day, the one I bought after picking up my mom's ashes. I'm so grateful for my friends, and my husband, my cat, my step-family that is still here, this precious, painful, fleeting little life filled with more beauty and wonder than I can ever hold in my little hurting heart.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-14 03:56 am (UTC)