Highly Sensitive People.

[serafaery]

oh, unrelatedly, I wanted to comment that so far I'm only in Chapter 2 of Polysecure but there's a helpful insight about attachment disregulation that I've never heard before that makes so much sense. HSP's tend to have difficulty with attachment security. I am an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person.) This makes the entire world an overwhelming and unsafe place, much of the time. I also have childhood trauma and parents suffering with addiction and all the other stuff that typically goes along with development of insecure attachment styles, but the HSP element helps add a dimension of understanding to how difficult it is for me to heal my own disregulation. And it shifts the blame away from parents or upbringing or any internal moral failing, which is really helpful, too. Being an HSP is just hard-wired. I can't turn down my sense of hearing or sensitivity to light or touch or emotions or crowds any more than you can change the colors of your eyes at will. We're something like 18-20% of the population. The only senses I have that aren't highly sensitive are taste/smell. Otherwise I'm pretty much chronically over-stimulated. Which is part of why I think I spend so much time watching ASMR videos, lol. And why I can't even dip my toes into TikTok without developing an instant migraine.

Comments

[acidtrips]

oh man, i am glad to meet another HSP. i totally understand where you're coming from, because i am one also. i dealt with a shitton of trauma at a young age. perhaps sometime i will delve more into it on my blog, i find it hard to talk about a lot of the time. i've been actually looking back into facts about being a HSP, because i already suspect my 2 year old of being one. we are gentle parents. but he was hospitalized for 3 months after birth, and that was really traumatic for all of us. it breaks my heart that he had to go through that time. i see a lot of things that i know came from that trauma. it just breaks my heart... but thankfully there is power that comes with knowledge, and with it we can do our best to have and to give the best lives that we can. i am proud and happy for you to be looking into things so you can understand yourself better. i am sure this is going to do wonders in healing for you. ♥

[faeryboots]

I'm definitely an HSP too. I read a book years ago and it really resonated.

[acidtrips]

hi there! i am commenting here just because i added you a while back, and my ADHD got the best of me and i never commented! i just added you because i think we would get along really well. you're welcome to snoop around my blog a bit and see if you'd like to be friends on here. if not, no worries at all! just let me know so i can do right by you and delete you off my friends list! wishing you all the happiness, love, and light no matter what ♥ just let me know so i can delete you from my fl if not. no hard feelings either way!

[serafaery]

Hello! Thank you so much for the kind words. I am happy to subscribe to your journal! You seem very fun and fascinating and I love your energy. For access, I want to caution that I do a lot of stream-of-consciousness processing of extremely personal things that might not make sense, be relevant, or even be truthful - really sometimes I say things in the heat of the moment that I don't actually mean. I sort of use my journal as self-soothing self-therapy, since I've yet to find any therapy that is accessible or helpful to me and I have a ton of unresolved trauma that it takes a lot of time and energy to work through. So, generally, only maybe 5 people have access to my journal and they are people who are far away and who've known me for many many years online so have an inkling as to my weirdness with journaling. I had to kick out IRL friends because they just didn't understand and made conclusions that I was, for example, unhappy in my marriage or hateful of my brother, when really I just use this place to vent, really so that I stay happy in those relationships, if that makes sense. I am trying to do more frequent public entries that aren't so heavy on the over-sharing and less relationship/emotionally/inwardly focused. Just random observations or making notes of little joys in my life. I'm happy to be connected or not, whatever you are comfortable with. :) I would like to get a little bit more of a feel for who you are before I consider granting access, really just for your emotional safety - my private journal can have some toxic (not mean, just bad self-thoughts really) elements at time and I don't want to expose people to that who don't want it. :)