serafaery

Oops didn't make it to the rink.

So funny, I got all dressed and ready and packed up and brought drinks and snacks and everything, but I had completely the wrong time and realized halfway there that the session would be over by the time I got there.

I think this is my subconscious trying to protect my injured foot. I will go with that and not straight up laziness or fear of doing hard things. I have a lot of emotional baggage around skating which puts a lot of psychological barriers onto it for me, it is wildly unpleasant emotionally for me to be on the ice, but I love the work and time I put into my training and I love the way it feels in my body, I just wish I could get my head right about it. It's not really my fault, my community fell apart and I was the victim of bullying on the ice like everywhere else, plus some very traumatic losses due to cancer and also witnessing some extremely scary brain-injury-causing falls - it's all just very hard.

there's a social session in august, I will try again then. And in the meantime, try to be kind to my sore heart and my sore foot.