serafaery

been a little bit of a rough day emotionally. a lot of reading, a lot of chores, not a lot of fun. i really need to finish chores and instead i keep snacking. josh will be home in a couple hours and I would love to at least have the floors done for him. gotta find some spunky tunes and get this done. where is the dopamine when you need it? fr.

I did work on the wednesday dance some, i don't feel like i've made much progress, need to keep flushing out the filler. I mostly want Wednesday shuffle, Wednesday claws, Wednesday shoulder rolls, a couple of Wednesday shimmydowns, and some claps and rawr turns from Thriller, which I think Wednesday would approve of? after ten+ years of teaching the thriller choreo, it feels necessary. not only does it need to fit the vibe, but it also needs to fit the music, AND it needs to feel good, and make sense. it's a lot to ask and i keep trying, but so far have not found quite the right magical combo. I think I have a chance though. I've been flash-mobbing long enough to know the elements i need and how to put them together. just need to fight past the overwhelming self-doubt, bleargh.

i stayed alone all weekend. probably not good for my psyche, and probably part of why i broke down into tears this morning, oops.