Happy October!
Oct. 1st, 2024 01:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serafaeryI want to try to do a month of daily gratitude here if I can. I intended to do it last month but it ended up mostly happening only in my head.
Things have been hard, my foot is still hurt, my wrist is still hurt from the dog attack and we are still suffering from the trauma - Avalanche got spooked and scratched me this morning, she has spent the entire rest of the day so far following me around and quietly apologizing, after sulking under the bed for an hour - but it's October and there is so much beauty here.
We are seriously considering moving to Arizona in the spring. Portland has taken too much of a toll on my spirit, and Josh is anxious for a change. It would mean entirely starting over from scratch, starting over again at 50 sounds impossibly daunting, but staying here sounds worse. We are lucky that we have the resources to consider this.
...
This is my first October with Avalanche, and it started off beautifully. I got up early so that I could take her for a walk in the sunrise. There were hummingbirds and beautiful fall flowers everywhere, it was so peaceful (until we got spooked by random free roaming cats and big dogs and loud maintenance workers with clattering gear).
Josh was able to come do silks with me, which was okay since my head was hurting too much to work out very hard. I skipped my PT but I can do more later. He taught me infinity salto and I helped him with catcher's salto and flick-flack, and I taught him double ankle hang which he loved, it's fun to see him so excited about something new.
October is time to buckle down and be smarter about my diet. I want to be able to wear my costumes. I look around me and almost everyone is very large and rotund and they talk about how much food gives them comfort and pleasure, they take photos of huge burgers or giant desserts or massive plates of curry or giant burritos, so I tried self-soothing with a giant veggie burrito on Saturday, since that seems to make everyone else happy. (Along with the Welbutrin and Adderal and weed and alcohol and all the other drugs everyone else seems to be on, all around me.) I still feel sick from it. it felt like rocks in my stomach for two days. I wished I were able to purge. I'm still nauseated. I cannot eat like that, I don't understand how people eat like that. Back to fresh fruit and vegetables and unsweetened yogurt for me. These will be my staples, with lean protein, and the occasional popcorn or plantain chip binge, treats of unsweetened 100% dark chocolate for work, and non-alcoholic beer with friends, until Halloween.
The weather has been absolutely perfect.
My car won't start, need to call a mechanic. I'm not even stressed, it's the first time anything has gone wrong with my car in years, it was overdue. I'm grateful that this didn't happen somewhere remote while off hiking or something. I've never had my car break down at home, I don't think. Best possible scenario for this sort of bad thing to happen. I am grateful. Josh is letting me borrow his car for work today, which I need to go do now. :) I love my job, how wonderful is that.
Counseling was amazing this morning as usual. My therapist is so sweet with me. He asks if he's pushing me too much, which makes me feel like... I am doing good work, here.
Things have been hard, my foot is still hurt, my wrist is still hurt from the dog attack and we are still suffering from the trauma - Avalanche got spooked and scratched me this morning, she has spent the entire rest of the day so far following me around and quietly apologizing, after sulking under the bed for an hour - but it's October and there is so much beauty here.
We are seriously considering moving to Arizona in the spring. Portland has taken too much of a toll on my spirit, and Josh is anxious for a change. It would mean entirely starting over from scratch, starting over again at 50 sounds impossibly daunting, but staying here sounds worse. We are lucky that we have the resources to consider this.
...
This is my first October with Avalanche, and it started off beautifully. I got up early so that I could take her for a walk in the sunrise. There were hummingbirds and beautiful fall flowers everywhere, it was so peaceful (until we got spooked by random free roaming cats and big dogs and loud maintenance workers with clattering gear).
Josh was able to come do silks with me, which was okay since my head was hurting too much to work out very hard. I skipped my PT but I can do more later. He taught me infinity salto and I helped him with catcher's salto and flick-flack, and I taught him double ankle hang which he loved, it's fun to see him so excited about something new.
October is time to buckle down and be smarter about my diet. I want to be able to wear my costumes. I look around me and almost everyone is very large and rotund and they talk about how much food gives them comfort and pleasure, they take photos of huge burgers or giant desserts or massive plates of curry or giant burritos, so I tried self-soothing with a giant veggie burrito on Saturday, since that seems to make everyone else happy. (Along with the Welbutrin and Adderal and weed and alcohol and all the other drugs everyone else seems to be on, all around me.) I still feel sick from it. it felt like rocks in my stomach for two days. I wished I were able to purge. I'm still nauseated. I cannot eat like that, I don't understand how people eat like that. Back to fresh fruit and vegetables and unsweetened yogurt for me. These will be my staples, with lean protein, and the occasional popcorn or plantain chip binge, treats of unsweetened 100% dark chocolate for work, and non-alcoholic beer with friends, until Halloween.
The weather has been absolutely perfect.
My car won't start, need to call a mechanic. I'm not even stressed, it's the first time anything has gone wrong with my car in years, it was overdue. I'm grateful that this didn't happen somewhere remote while off hiking or something. I've never had my car break down at home, I don't think. Best possible scenario for this sort of bad thing to happen. I am grateful. Josh is letting me borrow his car for work today, which I need to go do now. :) I love my job, how wonderful is that.
Counseling was amazing this morning as usual. My therapist is so sweet with me. He asks if he's pushing me too much, which makes me feel like... I am doing good work, here.
