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Feb. 28th, 2026 10:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serafaeryPut a collar on Avalanche this morning, she couldn’t care less. Yay! Target has an air tag holder, I’ll grab one today.
Going to the desert next week and so nervous about leaving her, even though this house is so much nicer to be left in than the little apartment was. But now that she’s used to the cat door, I’m nervous she’ll bolt when she’s locked in for days, but I don’t feel ready to leave her with access to the backyard unsupervised for several days. Sigh. She can’t get out but something could happen, other animals could get in, or maybe the fence could fail (there are spots of weakness).
An air tag would make me feel better about leaving the cat door open. Still not sure if I will.
I left it unlocked last night but she came in and slept with me all night until the birds started singing.
(I don’t sleep soundly past my first couple hours anymore, it’s been this way for months, I’m constantly half awake, despite the hormones, so I know she was with me all night. I do sleep more if I get hard exercise, but my body hasn’t tolerated that recently. Tomorrow might be a day for dog mountain, to try to fix that, and my mood, and this nausea. That mountain fixes everything.)
I love how she walks on the kitchen counters when Josh isn’t home lol. She’s smrt. (I don’t care to discipline her unless I’m actively cooking, but Josh always does.)
…
I need to stop reading the grief book I started, there’s only about an hour left but it’s detailing the end of someone’s glioblastoma (brain cancer) and I don’t think I should continue.
One of my favorite customers, a friend who survived breast cancer 8 years ago - one of the ladies who was forced to take estrogen blockers (which my team wants me on) so I saw first hand what it does to someone’s body and skin and hair and joints - got a totally different kind of cancer, a lung cancer that she had to do more chemo and radiation for. She’s 71 and had been such an inspiration to me, she does absolutely everything right, she exercises every day and has a robust social life and eats healthy anti-inflammatory food, it’s just shocking and I’m so messed up over it. They caught it before it spread but her tumor is large. This is the most common kind of lung cancer (non-smoking) and it’s the deadliest because it has zero symptoms. The only reason she had a chest x-ray and caught it was due to a cold she got back in December that was lingering. I’m just so terrified for her. She still has hair but she cut it short, she’s only ever had long hair so she is “adjusting” :((((((
…
Cannot shake this nausea. I should eat but can’t. Pretty sure it’s depression and not any sort of illness. Also poor eating habits, but saltiness and an apple for dinner has never resulted in nausea the next morning.
Maybe food and a bike ride with Cynthia will shake me out of it. If I can just get a little down.
Going to the desert next week and so nervous about leaving her, even though this house is so much nicer to be left in than the little apartment was. But now that she’s used to the cat door, I’m nervous she’ll bolt when she’s locked in for days, but I don’t feel ready to leave her with access to the backyard unsupervised for several days. Sigh. She can’t get out but something could happen, other animals could get in, or maybe the fence could fail (there are spots of weakness).
An air tag would make me feel better about leaving the cat door open. Still not sure if I will.
I left it unlocked last night but she came in and slept with me all night until the birds started singing.
(I don’t sleep soundly past my first couple hours anymore, it’s been this way for months, I’m constantly half awake, despite the hormones, so I know she was with me all night. I do sleep more if I get hard exercise, but my body hasn’t tolerated that recently. Tomorrow might be a day for dog mountain, to try to fix that, and my mood, and this nausea. That mountain fixes everything.)
I love how she walks on the kitchen counters when Josh isn’t home lol. She’s smrt. (I don’t care to discipline her unless I’m actively cooking, but Josh always does.)
…
I need to stop reading the grief book I started, there’s only about an hour left but it’s detailing the end of someone’s glioblastoma (brain cancer) and I don’t think I should continue.
One of my favorite customers, a friend who survived breast cancer 8 years ago - one of the ladies who was forced to take estrogen blockers (which my team wants me on) so I saw first hand what it does to someone’s body and skin and hair and joints - got a totally different kind of cancer, a lung cancer that she had to do more chemo and radiation for. She’s 71 and had been such an inspiration to me, she does absolutely everything right, she exercises every day and has a robust social life and eats healthy anti-inflammatory food, it’s just shocking and I’m so messed up over it. They caught it before it spread but her tumor is large. This is the most common kind of lung cancer (non-smoking) and it’s the deadliest because it has zero symptoms. The only reason she had a chest x-ray and caught it was due to a cold she got back in December that was lingering. I’m just so terrified for her. She still has hair but she cut it short, she’s only ever had long hair so she is “adjusting” :((((((
…
Cannot shake this nausea. I should eat but can’t. Pretty sure it’s depression and not any sort of illness. Also poor eating habits, but saltiness and an apple for dinner has never resulted in nausea the next morning.
Maybe food and a bike ride with Cynthia will shake me out of it. If I can just get a little down.
