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tuesday blues.
Mar. 2nd, 2021 09:06 amI have spans of a few days where I feel like I'm doing better, and then I wake up in tears, again, and it feels like I'll never recover.
Was trying to wind down after journaling last night and watched this ASMR video and just sobbed and sobbed. I actually have always loved my veins, and their "spooky" appearance as Jillian calls it (mine have always been very prominent and visible because of my translucent skin), it's not about that, but more, for me, about not feeling good with a body that's aging so rapidly. I'm 7 or so years older than this person, and I feel for her, though being 38 was not difficult for me. It didn't really start getting painful until age 42, and it's ramped up in difficulty exponentially, since then. Covid doesn't help.
I have to change and go to work and it's hard to imagine getting through the day, today. I hope I don't cry on any of my customers.
Was trying to wind down after journaling last night and watched this ASMR video and just sobbed and sobbed. I actually have always loved my veins, and their "spooky" appearance as Jillian calls it (mine have always been very prominent and visible because of my translucent skin), it's not about that, but more, for me, about not feeling good with a body that's aging so rapidly. I'm 7 or so years older than this person, and I feel for her, though being 38 was not difficult for me. It didn't really start getting painful until age 42, and it's ramped up in difficulty exponentially, since then. Covid doesn't help.
I have to change and go to work and it's hard to imagine getting through the day, today. I hope I don't cry on any of my customers.
